I feel like crap. I have a stuffy blocked nose and my throat feels all tight and scratchy. I hope I am not getting sick - I hate this feeling. I have been sooo busy this week. It's like a whole mindset shift to what I was previously doing and with lack of training and proper guidance its like traipsing through a minefield. I just feel very frustrated.
I often wonder if this is what life was meant to be like. Work, work, work for 5 days of the week. The weekend goes by in a blur and than its back to work, work, work. It sucks if you ask me. I am really not enjoying what I am doing. The job is highly administrative and I am surrounded by paper everywhere. I am usually a very neat and orderly person and I am really trying to file it all - but there is this avalanche of paper everywhere.
I am getting to meet all my business partners and customers and to be honest they are a rude, arrogant bunch. I have worked with pretty senior people in my previous position so its not like I don't have any experience in dealing with senior people. But these people are just pathetic. I had one lady throw a tantrum with papers flying the other day just because she felt like it. She was taking it out on the poor service provider when clearly it wasnt her fault. If Cruella (thats my name for her) had taken the time to read her emails than maybe she would have understood what was supposed to happen. It really took a lot to calm her down but eventually I did it.
I am seriously in the market for a new job. I don't think I am cut out for this. I must listen to other people's crap about not getting paid, about how pathetic their bosses are, their crap salaries etc etc etc. Hello and welcome to the world of Human Resources. This is why I failed Industrial Psychology 2 and didn't bother about it. I really thought that this would be a challenge and it would be fun and interesting but its been nothing but admin after admin and me trying to feel my way around with a blindfold on. As for my scatterbrained boss - she helps whenever I ask her but she has not taken the time to sit and explain what happens where, how, why etc. I just feel so inadequate and like I am doing stuff all in vain. It really sucks. I know that I should be grateful that I have a job - but to be honest I dont like it and why should I bother to stay when there is so much opportunity out there.
I really cant wait to get married. I miss T sooo much when we are not together. I am really looking forward to planning this wedding even though I am pretty clueless about what I want exactly. My cuz is getting married too and I think it will be fun looking at ideas and stuff together. I am sooo happy for her, she went through a really crap time a few months ago but I am glad that she sorted it all out and is now on her way to wedded bliss.
Plans, plans, plans - enough to drive me a little over the edge.....