Tuesday, January 27, 2009


I am really struggling at work and things seem to be unravelling at lightning speed. I am not sure if I am doing the right thing, my boss seems pissed off all the time and there seems to be something serious brewing but it's all very hushed right now. I work in Human Resources and I service a really huge and vital part of the business. I have heard through the grapevine that there is a restructure of some sorts looming and it is apparently quite big. I don't think my position will be affected, however the areas that I do look after are big time. I feel sorry for them because it looks as though this economic meltdown and what is happening overseas is going to hit us too

What irritates me is that we as HR are totally in the dark, so we go to meetings and have to liase with our business, field questions etc etc but are told nothing of what is happening. I feel like a complete idiot everytime I am asked a question of which I know nothing off. My boss is permanently grumpy as she is apparently managing this whole thing with the big boss. One can't even get to ask her important stuff. I am feeling lost and am really struggling to get through it all.

I really feel that I want to do something new, something else that will challenge me in a positive way. I am really feeling out of sorts today and with the grim picture that everyone is painting, finding alternative employment seems hard to come by. I seem to find myself in a confused space and am feeling pretty inadequate. I just feel as though the world has slightly went off balance and things are not really as they seem.

Hmmm - I feel weird.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Roller Coaster Week

This week has been one awful rollercoaster. I feel crappy and miserable and the weather is just adding to that down feeling.

The week started all optimistic, the weekend was fine. Didn't do much except chilled and we celebrated our 1 month anniversary of being married. Our lovely evening was gate crashed by one of T's friends who has recently hooked up with some guy and are now engaged to be married all within a month of meeting each other. I was quite irritated because these 2 have been tagging us ever since we got married. Wherever we go or plan to go they must tag along with us. To be quite honest they can be a bit irritating because 95% they are all over each other and the other 5% they are bickering and making each other jealous. So not my idea of fun.

On Tuesday I was in Durbs for the day. For work unfortunately. Had to wake up at the crack of dawn as our flight was at 6:40. The weather was crappy and the day turned out to be a total waste. None of our meetings panned out and we only saw 2 of the people we were supposed to see. It was highly irritating. Only landed back in Joburg at about 7pm so I was really tired. I ended up having a little childish tantrum with my mum. To be honest I really miss them. I miss the cameraderie and the fun and excitement that house number 2 is always abuzz with.

On Wednesday I got hauled over the coals here at work for my high telephone bill. This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me and I was really upset about it. Yeah so it was a tad high but it's not like my work isnt up to date. Anyway its all about big girl panties right.....

Have I mentioned that I started cooking last week. Yes every single day when I get home I toil as a labour of love for my man. Hahahaha. What a joke. Labour of Love :)

To be honest, it has been fun and exciting. I must admit that deciding what to make can be a bit daunting but once you know what you making it's been really easy. I think it was a bit of an adjustment with his mother. Ever since we got married, because my kitchen was incomplete and my stove not connected we were eating with his parents. However on the Saturday before his mother said oh you must take some meat and stuff if you want to cook on your own. Ha - I was waiting for that opportunity because see I don't want her to cook for us. For the simple reason she is very lazy to cook so the minute an opportunity arises, she will pass it on to someone else. Why should she want to cook for me? So on Monday last week when I got home I began cooking. She came and asked me what I was doing and I very candidly told her that I am cooking. She just looked at me.

It's been an experience and I think sometimes I decide on something and than totally change my mind which leads to me going around in circles in my head and quite a bit of frustration. I managed to create a menu in my head and just stick to it.

I am adamant that I will cook for T and I regardless of what she says. On Monday this week when I got home I went next door to say hello and she said she cooked why am I cooking. So I just pretended not to take her hint. Last year before T and I got married, the one day he told me that his mum said she will cook during the week and I must cook on the weekend. As if - I refused and got a bit iffy with him. I was so annoyed and irritated. Every weekend at their house it is like park station. There is forever someone and someone there. I will not cook for their guests. I refuse to.

Living next door to them can be a bit of a drag at times. I am grateful that I have my own place and they very rarely mind my business, but with T being an only son it becomes very difficult. They are there all the time. Next door or not. They are still there. I think I am also a little weary. I don't want to portray something else and with my mum being so nearby it is easy to go there. But I don't want them to say anything regarding that.

Pheeew it is tough being an Indian daughter-in-law. The expectations are sometimes just too much. It's been relatively cool since we got married but there are times when I get really irritated. I guess one can't look at everything. So I just ignore.

The biggest shocker for me was the way his mum treats his dad. Whatever his dad does is an issue for her. She can't stand the man and will have a go at him at every turn. We will be having dinner and she will be bitching and to make matters worse - she is quite loud and brash. At times I can't help but giggle but there are times when it is downright annoying. Every time.

I firmly believe that they have a really screwed up life and maybe only stayed together out of loyalty to their son. However they seem to make each other pretty miserable. It is just so sad if you ask me. However in public she is a totally different person. She than wants to be loving and sweet. It is too sickening for words.

I must admit that she hasn't been nasty towards me. Touch Wood. She has no reason to but there is one thing that I have realised - Your Mother is your Mother. Period

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Me Back

I am BACK......

Back to blogging, back at work, back to the real world if that is what one can call it. I came back to work last week Wednesday. My brain went into total meltdown as I sifted through like a gazillion mails. Being away for a month and than coming back to find a mails that are of no relevance can be so annoying. Oh well - the joys of work I guess. On Wednesday evening I began to feel so ill, flu like symptoms - spluttery eyes, leaky nose. I drugged myself with enough medication and was leaving early every day. On Saturday it was off to the doctor but because it's just something viral he didn't give me any antibiotics. However by Sunday my chest was all tight and heaving and there was this burning sensation in my throat and chest. I doused myself with cough syrup and went to bed. I am starting to feel much better....So it sure feels like I have been away forever. I guess a month is a long time and I am battling with getting in the groove of things. Every little task just seems so daunting and I feel quite tired.

When I left in early December I had a million and one things to do and my wedding was only a week away. That week flew by in a blur. There was just too much to do. On Friday night we decided to have a henna night. We spent the entire afternoon draping the place with gorgeous sari scarves. We than lit a pathway of lights with acorns and little tea lights and the entire garden was transformed into a gorgeous array of colour. It was such fun. However something happened that night that almost made me decide not to get married. But that is another post all on its own and I don't really want to delve right now in those details. Again grown adults acted like total children and T and I ended up bearing the brunt of it all.

My wedding went off beautifully. I don't remember much of the details regarding decor etc etc etc. I can't wait for my photos and will post some pics soon soon...

It was over all too soon but we had such fun and at least after all the dramatics and dramas the day went off without a hitch. Will do a full post soon. Getting back to work has been an absolute drag and we are so busy with new stuff that I don't have much time to do anything except work. Lol.