Thursday, January 22, 2009

Roller Coaster Week

This week has been one awful rollercoaster. I feel crappy and miserable and the weather is just adding to that down feeling.

The week started all optimistic, the weekend was fine. Didn't do much except chilled and we celebrated our 1 month anniversary of being married. Our lovely evening was gate crashed by one of T's friends who has recently hooked up with some guy and are now engaged to be married all within a month of meeting each other. I was quite irritated because these 2 have been tagging us ever since we got married. Wherever we go or plan to go they must tag along with us. To be quite honest they can be a bit irritating because 95% they are all over each other and the other 5% they are bickering and making each other jealous. So not my idea of fun.

On Tuesday I was in Durbs for the day. For work unfortunately. Had to wake up at the crack of dawn as our flight was at 6:40. The weather was crappy and the day turned out to be a total waste. None of our meetings panned out and we only saw 2 of the people we were supposed to see. It was highly irritating. Only landed back in Joburg at about 7pm so I was really tired. I ended up having a little childish tantrum with my mum. To be honest I really miss them. I miss the cameraderie and the fun and excitement that house number 2 is always abuzz with.

On Wednesday I got hauled over the coals here at work for my high telephone bill. This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me and I was really upset about it. Yeah so it was a tad high but it's not like my work isnt up to date. Anyway its all about big girl panties right.....

Have I mentioned that I started cooking last week. Yes every single day when I get home I toil as a labour of love for my man. Hahahaha. What a joke. Labour of Love :)

To be honest, it has been fun and exciting. I must admit that deciding what to make can be a bit daunting but once you know what you making it's been really easy. I think it was a bit of an adjustment with his mother. Ever since we got married, because my kitchen was incomplete and my stove not connected we were eating with his parents. However on the Saturday before his mother said oh you must take some meat and stuff if you want to cook on your own. Ha - I was waiting for that opportunity because see I don't want her to cook for us. For the simple reason she is very lazy to cook so the minute an opportunity arises, she will pass it on to someone else. Why should she want to cook for me? So on Monday last week when I got home I began cooking. She came and asked me what I was doing and I very candidly told her that I am cooking. She just looked at me.

It's been an experience and I think sometimes I decide on something and than totally change my mind which leads to me going around in circles in my head and quite a bit of frustration. I managed to create a menu in my head and just stick to it.

I am adamant that I will cook for T and I regardless of what she says. On Monday this week when I got home I went next door to say hello and she said she cooked why am I cooking. So I just pretended not to take her hint. Last year before T and I got married, the one day he told me that his mum said she will cook during the week and I must cook on the weekend. As if - I refused and got a bit iffy with him. I was so annoyed and irritated. Every weekend at their house it is like park station. There is forever someone and someone there. I will not cook for their guests. I refuse to.

Living next door to them can be a bit of a drag at times. I am grateful that I have my own place and they very rarely mind my business, but with T being an only son it becomes very difficult. They are there all the time. Next door or not. They are still there. I think I am also a little weary. I don't want to portray something else and with my mum being so nearby it is easy to go there. But I don't want them to say anything regarding that.

Pheeew it is tough being an Indian daughter-in-law. The expectations are sometimes just too much. It's been relatively cool since we got married but there are times when I get really irritated. I guess one can't look at everything. So I just ignore.

The biggest shocker for me was the way his mum treats his dad. Whatever his dad does is an issue for her. She can't stand the man and will have a go at him at every turn. We will be having dinner and she will be bitching and to make matters worse - she is quite loud and brash. At times I can't help but giggle but there are times when it is downright annoying. Every time.

I firmly believe that they have a really screwed up life and maybe only stayed together out of loyalty to their son. However they seem to make each other pretty miserable. It is just so sad if you ask me. However in public she is a totally different person. She than wants to be loving and sweet. It is too sickening for words.

I must admit that she hasn't been nasty towards me. Touch Wood. She has no reason to but there is one thing that I have realised - Your Mother is your Mother. Period


angel said...

...and your mother-in-law is not your mother...
Just stick to your guns and I'm sure you'll be okay!

Blue Sunflower said...

Thanks Angel....

boldly benny said...

Shame love, thank goodness it's the weekend!
I think I'd struggle if I lived next door to my boyfriend's parents.

Saaleha Bamjee-Mayet said...

Hey, hey, here's wishing you happy days ahead, and very little MIL woes:)
i hope this means you'll be updating your cooking blog!

Blue Sunflower said...

BB - Really wish that the weekend could last a little bit longer :)

Saaleha - Thanks for the kind wishes.

Will really try and update my cooking blog....

Azra said...

Hey :) Time flies hey...Its been a month already!

I guess you're still trying to carve out a system that works for you...but I'm sure you'll get it going soon!

100% right...Mother is Mother, no matter what :D