The beginning of another stress filled week. I was having nightmares this morning just before my alarm rang. To be honest I was pretty miserable last night. Nothing happened, I had a perfectly fine weekend - I spent some serious moola on myself. There is nothing like buying clothes and shoes that make one look ultra chic and sassy. Ok - i am talking too much here - I cant help if I love shopping for clothes sooo much.
Back to the topic - I think my subconscious was trying to tell me something. I am still not sure if I am happy doing what I am doing. It's a steep learning curve and with little guidance I end up feeling very frustrated and annoyed. I guess my boss feels that I know everything, but I cant know everything - these things are rather foreign to me. I am not sure.
I really need to get cracking with regards to the wedding plans. I need to sort out the venue and the caterer asap. It's December and the party season and finding a venue is not going to be easy if I leave it to the last minute. I have been to quite a few venues in my area but none of them are big enough and some were quite tacky. There are 2 more that I am considering - will have to go and have a look and decide quickly. I also need to decide if its going to be a day or night wedding. I am leaning towards a day wedding - not sure about what T wants. I have to consider him to. I was so miserable to him last night. I was tired and as I said my subconscious was making me all miserable without me even knowing it.
I sometimes think that I must be the most clueless chick out there. There are some girls who know exactly what they want down to the minutest detail. Me on the other hand am relatively clueless. I am going to this bridal expo thingy happening this weekend - hope that sorts out the befuzzled mindset that i'm in.
Have a great week people - i have 2 interviews that am prepping for. Hey a girl's gotta keep her options open. And besides I could do with some serious extra moola.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Sickies
I feel like crap. I have a stuffy blocked nose and my throat feels all tight and scratchy. I hope I am not getting sick - I hate this feeling. I have been sooo busy this week. It's like a whole mindset shift to what I was previously doing and with lack of training and proper guidance its like traipsing through a minefield. I just feel very frustrated.
I often wonder if this is what life was meant to be like. Work, work, work for 5 days of the week. The weekend goes by in a blur and than its back to work, work, work. It sucks if you ask me. I am really not enjoying what I am doing. The job is highly administrative and I am surrounded by paper everywhere. I am usually a very neat and orderly person and I am really trying to file it all - but there is this avalanche of paper everywhere.
I am getting to meet all my business partners and customers and to be honest they are a rude, arrogant bunch. I have worked with pretty senior people in my previous position so its not like I don't have any experience in dealing with senior people. But these people are just pathetic. I had one lady throw a tantrum with papers flying the other day just because she felt like it. She was taking it out on the poor service provider when clearly it wasnt her fault. If Cruella (thats my name for her) had taken the time to read her emails than maybe she would have understood what was supposed to happen. It really took a lot to calm her down but eventually I did it.
I am seriously in the market for a new job. I don't think I am cut out for this. I must listen to other people's crap about not getting paid, about how pathetic their bosses are, their crap salaries etc etc etc. Hello and welcome to the world of Human Resources. This is why I failed Industrial Psychology 2 and didn't bother about it. I really thought that this would be a challenge and it would be fun and interesting but its been nothing but admin after admin and me trying to feel my way around with a blindfold on. As for my scatterbrained boss - she helps whenever I ask her but she has not taken the time to sit and explain what happens where, how, why etc. I just feel so inadequate and like I am doing stuff all in vain. It really sucks. I know that I should be grateful that I have a job - but to be honest I dont like it and why should I bother to stay when there is so much opportunity out there.
I really cant wait to get married. I miss T sooo much when we are not together. I am really looking forward to planning this wedding even though I am pretty clueless about what I want exactly. My cuz is getting married too and I think it will be fun looking at ideas and stuff together. I am sooo happy for her, she went through a really crap time a few months ago but I am glad that she sorted it all out and is now on her way to wedded bliss.
Plans, plans, plans - enough to drive me a little over the edge.....
I often wonder if this is what life was meant to be like. Work, work, work for 5 days of the week. The weekend goes by in a blur and than its back to work, work, work. It sucks if you ask me. I am really not enjoying what I am doing. The job is highly administrative and I am surrounded by paper everywhere. I am usually a very neat and orderly person and I am really trying to file it all - but there is this avalanche of paper everywhere.
I am getting to meet all my business partners and customers and to be honest they are a rude, arrogant bunch. I have worked with pretty senior people in my previous position so its not like I don't have any experience in dealing with senior people. But these people are just pathetic. I had one lady throw a tantrum with papers flying the other day just because she felt like it. She was taking it out on the poor service provider when clearly it wasnt her fault. If Cruella (thats my name for her) had taken the time to read her emails than maybe she would have understood what was supposed to happen. It really took a lot to calm her down but eventually I did it.
I am seriously in the market for a new job. I don't think I am cut out for this. I must listen to other people's crap about not getting paid, about how pathetic their bosses are, their crap salaries etc etc etc. Hello and welcome to the world of Human Resources. This is why I failed Industrial Psychology 2 and didn't bother about it. I really thought that this would be a challenge and it would be fun and interesting but its been nothing but admin after admin and me trying to feel my way around with a blindfold on. As for my scatterbrained boss - she helps whenever I ask her but she has not taken the time to sit and explain what happens where, how, why etc. I just feel so inadequate and like I am doing stuff all in vain. It really sucks. I know that I should be grateful that I have a job - but to be honest I dont like it and why should I bother to stay when there is so much opportunity out there.
I really cant wait to get married. I miss T sooo much when we are not together. I am really looking forward to planning this wedding even though I am pretty clueless about what I want exactly. My cuz is getting married too and I think it will be fun looking at ideas and stuff together. I am sooo happy for her, she went through a really crap time a few months ago but I am glad that she sorted it all out and is now on her way to wedded bliss.
Plans, plans, plans - enough to drive me a little over the edge.....
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Irritable
I woke up this morning with a feeling of dread and foreboding. The day hasn't turned out so bad except that I am feeling pretty out of it. And to top it all - T and I just had an argument. I know its my fault, I am irritated and I did start the whole dramatics - but if you think that I will admit to it - oh no I wont. I am in a pissy mood. Have been since I woke up this morning.
I had a blissful weekend. I got to wake up late, languish around the house and just chill. Except for Sunday when I spent the day with my cuz who's idea of fun was to traipse the China Mart like a fat kid on a cupcake. Its almost as if she went beserk and ended up buying all sorts of crap, junk rubbish for the kids. It was really irritating. We eventually ended up at some bazaar/fete sort of festival happening in Mayfair and I bought 2 gorgeous pashminas that are perfect for Winter.
I am feeling very overwhelmed with work. I know that its a new job and it will take time to adjust and adapt - but I am feeling very disconnected and to be honest alone. I am snowed under with tasks of which I don't know where to start with. It is becomming very frustrating. The business partners that I have to work with are grumpy, arrogant assholes that don't know how to say please or thank you. I have had enough experience dealing with high level execs and managers, some grumpy, some cool. In the end I have always managed to win them over and get their buy in. But not with this bunch - they are a bunch of drama queens who are rude and mean and ugly. They are not friendly or welcoming at all. I think I am just tired of this company and all the politics and drivel that go with the field that I am in. I am seriously looking at entering the job market - God knows I could do with a lot of extra cash....
I am venting - I know. But after a really great weekend, it just put a damper on my spirits....I am feeling very demotivated and to be honest quite alone. I have nobody to vent these feelings to and I dont want to sound like too much of a drama queen myself.
I am really hoping that things will get better.....
I had a blissful weekend. I got to wake up late, languish around the house and just chill. Except for Sunday when I spent the day with my cuz who's idea of fun was to traipse the China Mart like a fat kid on a cupcake. Its almost as if she went beserk and ended up buying all sorts of crap, junk rubbish for the kids. It was really irritating. We eventually ended up at some bazaar/fete sort of festival happening in Mayfair and I bought 2 gorgeous pashminas that are perfect for Winter.
I am feeling very overwhelmed with work. I know that its a new job and it will take time to adjust and adapt - but I am feeling very disconnected and to be honest alone. I am snowed under with tasks of which I don't know where to start with. It is becomming very frustrating. The business partners that I have to work with are grumpy, arrogant assholes that don't know how to say please or thank you. I have had enough experience dealing with high level execs and managers, some grumpy, some cool. In the end I have always managed to win them over and get their buy in. But not with this bunch - they are a bunch of drama queens who are rude and mean and ugly. They are not friendly or welcoming at all. I think I am just tired of this company and all the politics and drivel that go with the field that I am in. I am seriously looking at entering the job market - God knows I could do with a lot of extra cash....
I am venting - I know. But after a really great weekend, it just put a damper on my spirits....I am feeling very demotivated and to be honest quite alone. I have nobody to vent these feelings to and I dont want to sound like too much of a drama queen myself.
I am really hoping that things will get better.....
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Candid Scribblings
Last night was my younger brother's Matric banquet. He looked so dashing in his dark grey suit. Looking at him I found it hard to believe that this is my baby brother. He looked so grown up. T got him this really uber cool Alfa Romeo car and him and his date looked absolutely gorgeous. We continued behind them to the venue. It was stunning. They arrived Hollywood style all getting out of their fancy cars, walking down the red carpet in their fancy stunning clothes, with people standing all around screaming and cheering. It did feel very Hollywood.
I really wonder sometimes about some people. I ended up having this huge fight with someone yesterday as we were standing on the sides watching the matrics making their entrance. The place was packed and there were people standing all around these belt like booms. I managed to find a teeeny tiny little place and stood there. About 2 minutes later this lady takes me by the elbow and pulls me and than pushes me telling me that this was her daughters place and I need to get out cos I took her place. As If? The spot was empty HELLO. I got really pissed off. She didn't have to pull me. I told her exactly where to get off. Funny how she felt like she had every right to be there and I didn't. I really am not one to make scenes, but this woman's behaviour really got to me. I wouldn't have said anything by the manner in which is pulled my arm was enough to drive me over the edge. I ended up telling her exactly what I thought of her.
When I think about it now, its almost laughable. My poor mother was absolutely horrified. She so does not like to draw attention to herself and has that British stiff upper lip down pat. I was in stitches last night as I thought about it, but at that time I really didn't find it funny. Some people really don't know how to act in public.
We ended up having supper at Emperors Palace and than came home to a cold house with no lights. The load shedding is really becomming tiresome. It only came back on at around 21:30. I ended up missing Greys Anatomy on Monday. I hope the load shedding behaves tonight cos its Desperate Housewives. Cant really miss out on my weekly fix of devious antics.
The new job is somewhat of a minefield. I feel very lost and disconnected. I know that it is probably normal. I come from a department where I was the expert on practically everything. I just feel kinda lost. My boss seems nice, however we haven't sat down and discussed my duties, her expectations etc. I found that rather weird. She also seems a little out of it - like all over the place. It's strange. I guess the learning curve is a pretty steep one. I just hope I adapt soon enough and manage to get on with it. I feel like a dimwit asking so many questions, but I guess I have to.
Today is the start of a fantastic long weekend. I don't have any specific plans, all I want to do is chill and relax. Really looking forward to that.
You all have yourselves a great Easter. Be safe and take care!
I really wonder sometimes about some people. I ended up having this huge fight with someone yesterday as we were standing on the sides watching the matrics making their entrance. The place was packed and there were people standing all around these belt like booms. I managed to find a teeeny tiny little place and stood there. About 2 minutes later this lady takes me by the elbow and pulls me and than pushes me telling me that this was her daughters place and I need to get out cos I took her place. As If? The spot was empty HELLO. I got really pissed off. She didn't have to pull me. I told her exactly where to get off. Funny how she felt like she had every right to be there and I didn't. I really am not one to make scenes, but this woman's behaviour really got to me. I wouldn't have said anything by the manner in which is pulled my arm was enough to drive me over the edge. I ended up telling her exactly what I thought of her.
When I think about it now, its almost laughable. My poor mother was absolutely horrified. She so does not like to draw attention to herself and has that British stiff upper lip down pat. I was in stitches last night as I thought about it, but at that time I really didn't find it funny. Some people really don't know how to act in public.
We ended up having supper at Emperors Palace and than came home to a cold house with no lights. The load shedding is really becomming tiresome. It only came back on at around 21:30. I ended up missing Greys Anatomy on Monday. I hope the load shedding behaves tonight cos its Desperate Housewives. Cant really miss out on my weekly fix of devious antics.
The new job is somewhat of a minefield. I feel very lost and disconnected. I know that it is probably normal. I come from a department where I was the expert on practically everything. I just feel kinda lost. My boss seems nice, however we haven't sat down and discussed my duties, her expectations etc. I found that rather weird. She also seems a little out of it - like all over the place. It's strange. I guess the learning curve is a pretty steep one. I just hope I adapt soon enough and manage to get on with it. I feel like a dimwit asking so many questions, but I guess I have to.
Today is the start of a fantastic long weekend. I don't have any specific plans, all I want to do is chill and relax. Really looking forward to that.
You all have yourselves a great Easter. Be safe and take care!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Engaged
We had it all planned. A garden party with everyone sitting outside under white gazebos draped with pink and gold organza, decorated with gorgeous flowers, meat grilling on the braai, scrumptious salads, delicious and mouthwatering cakes and pastries all happening in the outdoors under the glorious South African sun.
Well it obviously wasn't meant to be. It didn't rain, it freaking poured. I awoke on Sunday morning and we had to come up with plan B. Luckily our house is big enough to accomodate everyone and everything did turn out beautifully in the end. It was gorgeous, a bit nerve-wrecking at times but overall it all went off well.
Yesterday was a weird experience. It was nerve wrecking and surreal and happy and joyous. We did the whole ceremony thing where they stuff your mouth with sweetmeats and all you want to do is gag. T put the ring on my finger and we exchanged gifts. And than there was a short prayer and some speeches and it was all over. And than the clearing up after everyone went home. Our house was full of family from Saturday and it was such a fun and joyous occasion. My mother had a few tears in her eyes last night as everyone left to go home.
My dad is and will always be a disappointment. He arrived at about 12pm just in time for lunch and didn't bother to ask to see me or even come looking for me. He left before the festivities and only as he was leaving he asked to see me to say goodbye. That is my father. He couldnt give a shit and only comes and acts like he cares because he is told to. He can't for the life of him ever do something positive for any of us. I guess that is why he is in this situation.
That aside - T and I are now officially engaged. I cant help but smile everytime I think about it.
Well it obviously wasn't meant to be. It didn't rain, it freaking poured. I awoke on Sunday morning and we had to come up with plan B. Luckily our house is big enough to accomodate everyone and everything did turn out beautifully in the end. It was gorgeous, a bit nerve-wrecking at times but overall it all went off well.
Yesterday was a weird experience. It was nerve wrecking and surreal and happy and joyous. We did the whole ceremony thing where they stuff your mouth with sweetmeats and all you want to do is gag. T put the ring on my finger and we exchanged gifts. And than there was a short prayer and some speeches and it was all over. And than the clearing up after everyone went home. Our house was full of family from Saturday and it was such a fun and joyous occasion. My mother had a few tears in her eyes last night as everyone left to go home.
My dad is and will always be a disappointment. He arrived at about 12pm just in time for lunch and didn't bother to ask to see me or even come looking for me. He left before the festivities and only as he was leaving he asked to see me to say goodbye. That is my father. He couldnt give a shit and only comes and acts like he cares because he is told to. He can't for the life of him ever do something positive for any of us. I guess that is why he is in this situation.
That aside - T and I are now officially engaged. I cant help but smile everytime I think about it.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
South Africa - A Sad Reality
I really wonder about South Africa and the future. I have always loved this country and believed that we lived in the best country ever. But whenever you hear about someone who has suffered at the hands of the criminals that have overridden and overpowered this beautiful country it kind of leaves a bitter and sad taste in your mouth. The optimism diminishes, you question the future of SA and thoughts of immigrating swirl in your mind.
I read Peas's post on how she was robbed in broad daylight amongst fellow drivers all battling the 5 o'Clock traffic. It made me once again question where this is country going to. And than it happened to my brother yesterday afternoon. He was robbed in the same manner in Jhb town. The only thing they didn't do was hit him. They pointed a gun and knife at him and they demanded money and his cellphone. Shame he was so shocked when he came to fetch me. What a mission to get everything blocked and MTN they deserve to be shot. I called to block his cellphone and lady who answered wanted to know why, how, when. Eventually when I had to spell it out to her that the phone's been stolen and that is the reason why I need it to be blocked it was like a light dawned in her head. I was so frustratated by than. I couldn't help but ask her if she was confused or just plain dumb. I mean why in the world would you want to block a phone if it wasn't stolen. She blocked it and than proceeded to hang up on me. Can you imagine my chagrin.
These petty crimes happen daily in SA. Nothing gets done about it and things are just getting worse. I used to love SA but now my perception of this country and where we are headed is somehow tarnished.
Sad but true!
I read Peas's post on how she was robbed in broad daylight amongst fellow drivers all battling the 5 o'Clock traffic. It made me once again question where this is country going to. And than it happened to my brother yesterday afternoon. He was robbed in the same manner in Jhb town. The only thing they didn't do was hit him. They pointed a gun and knife at him and they demanded money and his cellphone. Shame he was so shocked when he came to fetch me. What a mission to get everything blocked and MTN they deserve to be shot. I called to block his cellphone and lady who answered wanted to know why, how, when. Eventually when I had to spell it out to her that the phone's been stolen and that is the reason why I need it to be blocked it was like a light dawned in her head. I was so frustratated by than. I couldn't help but ask her if she was confused or just plain dumb. I mean why in the world would you want to block a phone if it wasn't stolen. She blocked it and than proceeded to hang up on me. Can you imagine my chagrin.
These petty crimes happen daily in SA. Nothing gets done about it and things are just getting worse. I used to love SA but now my perception of this country and where we are headed is somehow tarnished.
Sad but true!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Inane Ramblings
I spent most of yesterday running around like some crazed super human trying to sort out my pc. It was approved but I needed to get it signed off and an access pass in order for me to get this thing in and out of the office. I had to sweet talk my way every step of the way. I was supposed to be on training for 3 days and on Friday I am on leave so I thought better to get it all done instead of leaving it for next week. Well instead of my stupid training lasting 3 days it lasted more like 3 hours and by 2pm I was back in the office. If I knew that I wouldn't have raced around like a crazed deranged woman to get everything sorted out. The person who thought that it would take 3 days to learn about one department was obviously smoking something - probably their socks.
Only 4 more days to go to the big do. I find myself getting nervous and edgy and scared and excited.
I have this friend. We have been friends since grade school, grew up together and share many memories. Over the years we have remained close but we went to different universities, I moved away from the place where I grew up in and we kind of pursued different interests. We communicate via email daily and share whatever is happening in each others day. During the time of my parents divorce instead of her being supportive she would call me to find stuff out only to go and relay the dirt to her mum and all her friends. These are woman who live desperate housewives sort of lives and will relish all sorts of dirt on other people. It was only after some time that I realised that she was doing this and eventually she and I had this huge argument.
T and I and had just started dating. I introduced them once and they got on fine. However she couldn't get over the fact that I had a serious boyfriend and everytime she called, she would say negative and deragotary remarks about him. Eventually I snapped and one thing led to another and we had a huge argument that left us not talking for about 2 years. I felt that she was this toxic person in my life and where I would have expected her to be supportive during a really crappy time in my life, she chose to judge and be nasty and cruel. We became friends again and things although we don't see each other often we chat daily. I met her a few weekends ago while I was out shopping. Although we not as close as we used to be we chat and share stories etc.
I mentioned to her that I am getting engaged over the weekend and she was happy and gushy about the whole thing. I asked her to keep it hush as I want to tell everyone like all our other friends after it's all official. I think the desperate housewives club already know and now everyday she bombards me with 99 questions regarding me and T, the engagement, the wedding plans etc etc etc. I will tell her everything in due course, but I don't like nosy people and that is what she has become. She is doing it all over again and it is really starting to piss me off. Maybe I am being a bit silly but after her history and tendency to want to know everything.
So I have decided to dodge all her questions. I don't want to answer stuff that I myself am not sure off. It's strange that she is married, has moved to the big city and is a qualified professional but that small town gossip tendencies and small mindedness is still so much there. It also shows how different we are.
I just feel that there is so much to do. I need to collect my dress from the designer. I had a dream last night that I went to collect it and he told me that it would cost an extra R1200.00. I was speechless and dumbstruck and panicked as I wondered how I was going to pay for the damn thing after spending R1600.00 on the whole outfit. Scary thoughts and dreams. My cuz's are so excited. They have been busy doing up presents for T. My mum and I went and bought the stuff last week and they are making it up into beautiful little gift sets. That is tradition - the exchange of gifts. I can't wait to see the ring. I was so confused about the one that I wanted and finally settled on one. So I am pretty excited about seeing it.
I must admit that I get very nervous. On Sunday I will be the centre of attention and I so don't enjoy that. Yes I love to talk and can't shut up but these are strangers and I get butterflies in my tummy just thinking of it. I don't even know what is expected of me and what I have to do. I have assigned my 2 nieces to sit with me and not leave my side. They are so excited. I was at their house the other day and they took me to their room and showed me their dresses and have already told their parents that they want to sleep over on Saturday night. They are so adorable. They were visting on Sunday and we made waffles with ice cream and syrup. They were just too chuffed. When I look at them I feel old. I was in high school when they were born. I absolutely adore them and not to mention their little brother who is only 3. He is such a little rascal.
Enough of me and my ramblings. I really need to go and get some work done....
Only 4 more days to go to the big do. I find myself getting nervous and edgy and scared and excited.
I have this friend. We have been friends since grade school, grew up together and share many memories. Over the years we have remained close but we went to different universities, I moved away from the place where I grew up in and we kind of pursued different interests. We communicate via email daily and share whatever is happening in each others day. During the time of my parents divorce instead of her being supportive she would call me to find stuff out only to go and relay the dirt to her mum and all her friends. These are woman who live desperate housewives sort of lives and will relish all sorts of dirt on other people. It was only after some time that I realised that she was doing this and eventually she and I had this huge argument.
T and I and had just started dating. I introduced them once and they got on fine. However she couldn't get over the fact that I had a serious boyfriend and everytime she called, she would say negative and deragotary remarks about him. Eventually I snapped and one thing led to another and we had a huge argument that left us not talking for about 2 years. I felt that she was this toxic person in my life and where I would have expected her to be supportive during a really crappy time in my life, she chose to judge and be nasty and cruel. We became friends again and things although we don't see each other often we chat daily. I met her a few weekends ago while I was out shopping. Although we not as close as we used to be we chat and share stories etc.
I mentioned to her that I am getting engaged over the weekend and she was happy and gushy about the whole thing. I asked her to keep it hush as I want to tell everyone like all our other friends after it's all official. I think the desperate housewives club already know and now everyday she bombards me with 99 questions regarding me and T, the engagement, the wedding plans etc etc etc. I will tell her everything in due course, but I don't like nosy people and that is what she has become. She is doing it all over again and it is really starting to piss me off. Maybe I am being a bit silly but after her history and tendency to want to know everything.
So I have decided to dodge all her questions. I don't want to answer stuff that I myself am not sure off. It's strange that she is married, has moved to the big city and is a qualified professional but that small town gossip tendencies and small mindedness is still so much there. It also shows how different we are.
I just feel that there is so much to do. I need to collect my dress from the designer. I had a dream last night that I went to collect it and he told me that it would cost an extra R1200.00. I was speechless and dumbstruck and panicked as I wondered how I was going to pay for the damn thing after spending R1600.00 on the whole outfit. Scary thoughts and dreams. My cuz's are so excited. They have been busy doing up presents for T. My mum and I went and bought the stuff last week and they are making it up into beautiful little gift sets. That is tradition - the exchange of gifts. I can't wait to see the ring. I was so confused about the one that I wanted and finally settled on one. So I am pretty excited about seeing it.
I must admit that I get very nervous. On Sunday I will be the centre of attention and I so don't enjoy that. Yes I love to talk and can't shut up but these are strangers and I get butterflies in my tummy just thinking of it. I don't even know what is expected of me and what I have to do. I have assigned my 2 nieces to sit with me and not leave my side. They are so excited. I was at their house the other day and they took me to their room and showed me their dresses and have already told their parents that they want to sleep over on Saturday night. They are so adorable. They were visting on Sunday and we made waffles with ice cream and syrup. They were just too chuffed. When I look at them I feel old. I was in high school when they were born. I absolutely adore them and not to mention their little brother who is only 3. He is such a little rascal.
Enough of me and my ramblings. I really need to go and get some work done....
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Nervous Stress
Phhheeeww I passed my exam. I was so nervous and agitated as I logged onto the unisa website to see if I had passed. My heart was pounding in my chest cos all the while I was thinking the scariest thought of all - What If I FAILED? I probably sound like the world's biggest nerd. I didn't study for this exam. I think if I spent 3 hours studying - it was way too much. So at least I passed with 71%. Not bad huh.... I'm just really chuffed.
I am really stressed. There is so much happening at work. I still haven't received my pc and after much eyelid battering and sweet talking, I managed to talk the IT guy into bumping me up the list. So he promised me that I would have my laptop today. I am crossing my fingers here people. Thereafter I am off to a 3 day training session at one of our other buildings. I hope that it doesn't take 3 days. I don't think I am that slow :)
Things at home are equally stressful. In between worrying about the dress, the serviettes, flowers, organza etc etc etc there is still the stress of it raining on Sunday. I am crossing my fingers and toes that all goes well. I just wish that Sunday were over cos this little knot in my tummy seems to be getting tighter and tighter....
Although I am excited - I am really nervous....
I am really stressed. There is so much happening at work. I still haven't received my pc and after much eyelid battering and sweet talking, I managed to talk the IT guy into bumping me up the list. So he promised me that I would have my laptop today. I am crossing my fingers here people. Thereafter I am off to a 3 day training session at one of our other buildings. I hope that it doesn't take 3 days. I don't think I am that slow :)
Things at home are equally stressful. In between worrying about the dress, the serviettes, flowers, organza etc etc etc there is still the stress of it raining on Sunday. I am crossing my fingers and toes that all goes well. I just wish that Sunday were over cos this little knot in my tummy seems to be getting tighter and tighter....
Although I am excited - I am really nervous....
Friday, March 07, 2008
Food For Thought
Will I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON OR RATHER HAVE I MARRIED THE RIGHT PERSON?
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,ahobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.
And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy .. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. ...you can "make" love.
Love in marriage is indeed a "decision".. . Not just a feeling .
Remember this always
"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."
Source Unknown
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,ahobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.
And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy .. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. ...you can "make" love.
Love in marriage is indeed a "decision".. . Not just a feeling .
Remember this always
"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."
Source Unknown
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Frustrated and Clueless
Warning - Complaint Post Ahead
I have this urge to complain. I know that these feelings will probably pass and I am trying to be optimistic but for now I want to complain.
I was appointed in my new position on the 31st of January 2008. I signed the docs and the position was regarded as filled. Although it was an internal move, I was still required to serve a month's notice. My new department had 4 freaking weeks to sort out the logistics and admin regarding my move. But what's been done. Absolutely Nothing.
I walked into my new office on Monday morning only to find the cupboards full of crap of the last person that left. Okay fine - I cleared it all up. I hate clutter and at least it gave me a chance to personalise my own stuff. I still don't have a PC or a phone. I am still sitting in my old department and every freaking person that walks past wants to know why am I still here, what am I doing here etc etc etc. Can't they understand that I don't have a computer to access mails etc. And to top it off - it's not that I don't have work to do. I have been given work to do - so how in the world am I supposed to do it without a freaking PC. And they don't know when it's coming.
I am feeling very frustrated at the moment. Also their way of doing things has come to a huge shock to me. Yes I understand that there will be a learning curve, I come from a department that is totally different although it is within the same field. But I have not been formally introduced into exactly what I am supposed to do. I would have assumed that my boss would have sat with me and explained the workings of her department - but she did no such thing. I must admit though that she seems really nice but a bit all over the place.
I am feeling this huge disconnect and feel as though I am in the dark. I have been getting queries and its a question and ask excercise which is a little frustrating. I know that this is how i will learn but what about some kind of formal or even on the job training. I come from a department that is very structured and organised and there are specific plans in place to enable a new starter's onboarding.
know that it has only been a few days and I should find my feet soon - but I just feel so damn CLUELESS.............
Tag From SleepyJane:
What is your occupation?
Corporate Junkie
~What are you listening to right now?
Avril Lavigne - When you gone.
~Can you drive a stick shift?
Errm Yes
~If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Hopefully the brightest crayon in the box
~Last person you spoke to on the phone?
T
~Do you like the person who tagged you?
Yes
~Favorite drink?
Coca Cola - what a question.
~What is your favorite sport to watch?
Tennis
~Have you ever dyed your hair
Yes
~Pets?
Yes. Dogs and an African Grey Parrot
~Favorite food?
Pasta and Obviously Indian Food
~Last movie you watched?
The Holiday
~Favorite day of the year?
Ummm im not sure
~Favorite toy as a child?
My doll
~Fall or Spring?
Spring. Cos Summer comes next and I just love Summer
~What kind of pie?
Chicken and Mushroom... Yummy
~Living arrangements?
I live at home.
~What is on the floor of your closet?
A Million and 1 shoes
~What inspires you?
Lots and lots and lots of things.
~What are you afraid of?
Creepy Crawlies
~Favorite car?
A Mini Cooper ST
~Favorite day of the week?
Friday Obviously
I’m supposed to tag you guys but all who read this - consider yourself tagged!
I have this urge to complain. I know that these feelings will probably pass and I am trying to be optimistic but for now I want to complain.
I was appointed in my new position on the 31st of January 2008. I signed the docs and the position was regarded as filled. Although it was an internal move, I was still required to serve a month's notice. My new department had 4 freaking weeks to sort out the logistics and admin regarding my move. But what's been done. Absolutely Nothing.
I walked into my new office on Monday morning only to find the cupboards full of crap of the last person that left. Okay fine - I cleared it all up. I hate clutter and at least it gave me a chance to personalise my own stuff. I still don't have a PC or a phone. I am still sitting in my old department and every freaking person that walks past wants to know why am I still here, what am I doing here etc etc etc. Can't they understand that I don't have a computer to access mails etc. And to top it off - it's not that I don't have work to do. I have been given work to do - so how in the world am I supposed to do it without a freaking PC. And they don't know when it's coming.
I am feeling very frustrated at the moment. Also their way of doing things has come to a huge shock to me. Yes I understand that there will be a learning curve, I come from a department that is totally different although it is within the same field. But I have not been formally introduced into exactly what I am supposed to do. I would have assumed that my boss would have sat with me and explained the workings of her department - but she did no such thing. I must admit though that she seems really nice but a bit all over the place.
I am feeling this huge disconnect and feel as though I am in the dark. I have been getting queries and its a question and ask excercise which is a little frustrating. I know that this is how i will learn but what about some kind of formal or even on the job training. I come from a department that is very structured and organised and there are specific plans in place to enable a new starter's onboarding.
know that it has only been a few days and I should find my feet soon - but I just feel so damn CLUELESS.............
Tag From SleepyJane:
What is your occupation?
Corporate Junkie
~What are you listening to right now?
Avril Lavigne - When you gone.
~Can you drive a stick shift?
Errm Yes
~If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Hopefully the brightest crayon in the box
~Last person you spoke to on the phone?
T
~Do you like the person who tagged you?
Yes
~Favorite drink?
Coca Cola - what a question.
~What is your favorite sport to watch?
Tennis
~Have you ever dyed your hair
Yes
~Pets?
Yes. Dogs and an African Grey Parrot
~Favorite food?
Pasta and Obviously Indian Food
~Last movie you watched?
The Holiday
~Favorite day of the year?
Ummm im not sure
~Favorite toy as a child?
My doll
~Fall or Spring?
Spring. Cos Summer comes next and I just love Summer
~What kind of pie?
Chicken and Mushroom... Yummy
~Living arrangements?
I live at home.
~What is on the floor of your closet?
A Million and 1 shoes
~What inspires you?
Lots and lots and lots of things.
~What are you afraid of?
Creepy Crawlies
~Favorite car?
A Mini Cooper ST
~Favorite day of the week?
Friday Obviously
I’m supposed to tag you guys but all who read this - consider yourself tagged!
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
The Ex Files
Hmmmm
So the ex boyfriend has decided that he wants me and has been trying in vain to get me to on a date with him. This is someone who I don't think very highly off, who broke my heart and left it out to dry and who was the most self-centred man I have ever me. He knows very well that I am attached, but that is just the type of person he is. A scaly, slithering snake who wants what he can't have until he has it. How typically male.
Just chatting to him last night made me realise what an absolute gem T. T makes the ex look like a total loser. Last night's conversation transported me back to all those times when he made my life an absolute misery. When his horrible attitude towards relationships tarnished my attitude and made me insecure and untrusting. Yes I don't mind being friends with him - but I know him too well. If he can't be anything more than friends he will vanish off the face of the earth. This has happened so many times before.
I met the ex when I was in matric. It's a long time ago but somethings one doesn't forget. He was older than me, already working and seemed so mature compared to the boys my age. We started dating and it was fun and exciting. At 17 there are only few things on your mind, like fun and dating and excitement. Well it was all that in the beginning and than a few months later I think he got tired and broke up with me. I really really liked him and was devastated. However this loser decided that although he didn't want me, he still wanted to be very much a part of my life. Our relationship bordered on a fews weeks on and a few weeks off. He would call and I would drop everything just for him. I was young, dumb and naive.
There were periods of delicious highs and crushing lows. I would be ecstatic the one day and down in the dumps the next. I started university and although there were numerous dates and potentials, he had such a hold over me that all I wanted was him. This on-off relationship continued for 2 years. All I wanted was to be with him and all he wanted was to have me on the side while he played around wherever he felt like. It was a miserable time and what was supposed to be a fun and carefree time in my life turned out to be a neurotic, unsure and insecure experience. Things finally came to a head when I moved away from H. He still thought that he could continue with the "relationship" that we had, however things were not as easy. I didn't live just down the road anymore.
And than I met T. I finally decided to give someone else a chance and the experience from the beginning was so different. If T said he was going to call - he would. He never stood me up on dates and was always there whenever I needed him. Looking back, I realise that the relationship with the ex wasn't what anyone can even call a relationship.
I must admit that the experience did leave me insecure and untrusting. I battled when T and I got together but him being the patient and sweet soul that he is - I overcame them. It wasnt easy cos in my mind every guy was like the ex. Out to hurt me!
Over the years the ex has tried in vain to make contact with me and to get me to go out with him. I have refused. He would call in the wee hours of the night and expect me to talk to him. He would text and ask me out on dates. I refused. He stopped calling me after a while and that was the end of him. Last year when T and I were broken up he sms'd me and I was so out of it that I just ignored it. Again - he wanted to go out with me.
I am shocked at myself - a few years ago I would have given anything for him to say that he wants me and wants to be with me. And now - I dont care. He is a loser and needs to get a life. He is 29 years old and has no direction. Chatting to him last night made me realise what I have going for me and how T makes me so much happier than the ex ever could.
I don't mind being his friend. I dont feel a thing for him. But I know very well that he is not capable of being just friends. He wants more and if he can't get what he wants than he will run for the hills. I frankly don't care.......
So the ex boyfriend has decided that he wants me and has been trying in vain to get me to on a date with him. This is someone who I don't think very highly off, who broke my heart and left it out to dry and who was the most self-centred man I have ever me. He knows very well that I am attached, but that is just the type of person he is. A scaly, slithering snake who wants what he can't have until he has it. How typically male.
Just chatting to him last night made me realise what an absolute gem T. T makes the ex look like a total loser. Last night's conversation transported me back to all those times when he made my life an absolute misery. When his horrible attitude towards relationships tarnished my attitude and made me insecure and untrusting. Yes I don't mind being friends with him - but I know him too well. If he can't be anything more than friends he will vanish off the face of the earth. This has happened so many times before.
I met the ex when I was in matric. It's a long time ago but somethings one doesn't forget. He was older than me, already working and seemed so mature compared to the boys my age. We started dating and it was fun and exciting. At 17 there are only few things on your mind, like fun and dating and excitement. Well it was all that in the beginning and than a few months later I think he got tired and broke up with me. I really really liked him and was devastated. However this loser decided that although he didn't want me, he still wanted to be very much a part of my life. Our relationship bordered on a fews weeks on and a few weeks off. He would call and I would drop everything just for him. I was young, dumb and naive.
There were periods of delicious highs and crushing lows. I would be ecstatic the one day and down in the dumps the next. I started university and although there were numerous dates and potentials, he had such a hold over me that all I wanted was him. This on-off relationship continued for 2 years. All I wanted was to be with him and all he wanted was to have me on the side while he played around wherever he felt like. It was a miserable time and what was supposed to be a fun and carefree time in my life turned out to be a neurotic, unsure and insecure experience. Things finally came to a head when I moved away from H. He still thought that he could continue with the "relationship" that we had, however things were not as easy. I didn't live just down the road anymore.
And than I met T. I finally decided to give someone else a chance and the experience from the beginning was so different. If T said he was going to call - he would. He never stood me up on dates and was always there whenever I needed him. Looking back, I realise that the relationship with the ex wasn't what anyone can even call a relationship.
I must admit that the experience did leave me insecure and untrusting. I battled when T and I got together but him being the patient and sweet soul that he is - I overcame them. It wasnt easy cos in my mind every guy was like the ex. Out to hurt me!
Over the years the ex has tried in vain to make contact with me and to get me to go out with him. I have refused. He would call in the wee hours of the night and expect me to talk to him. He would text and ask me out on dates. I refused. He stopped calling me after a while and that was the end of him. Last year when T and I were broken up he sms'd me and I was so out of it that I just ignored it. Again - he wanted to go out with me.
I am shocked at myself - a few years ago I would have given anything for him to say that he wants me and wants to be with me. And now - I dont care. He is a loser and needs to get a life. He is 29 years old and has no direction. Chatting to him last night made me realise what I have going for me and how T makes me so much happier than the ex ever could.
I don't mind being his friend. I dont feel a thing for him. But I know very well that he is not capable of being just friends. He wants more and if he can't get what he wants than he will run for the hills. I frankly don't care.......
Monday, March 03, 2008
Hectic Random Thoughts
What a whirlwind of a weekend. I haven't posted after mine and Sweets dramatic outburst on Wednesday night. I was so miserable on Thursday, refused to talk to him and was quite prepared to call the whole thing off. We finally spoke about everything on Friday night. I think we just got way ahead of ourselves and ended up losing the plot totally. I am the type of person who will analyse things and issues and try to understand and make sense of them and only than can I put it to rest. The reason for our fight - the number of guests to invite to the wedding. It was so petty where our emotions got the better of us and ended up having a screaming match instead of talking about it like level headed, rational adults that we are.
So everything is back on track - touch wood....
The date's been set for the engagement in 2 weeks time. On Saturday we trudged the malls and boutiques looking for a decent outfit to buy. It has to be pretty but not too fancy, elegant but not too over the top. It was hectic and the fussy gal that I am - I just couldn't make up my mind. It was fun - I was with my cuz and her two girls and my mum. We finally ended up buying something on Saturday night a really pretty Eastern outfit that just fit perfectly. Yesterday was spent at Sandton City again with the girls and it was such fun. It feels like a whirlwind and things are just happening at lightning speed. I am excited and a little scared. I get butterflies in my tummy whenever I think about it. It is just too overwhelming at times. But the plannings on track and soooo hectic.
Sweets a.k.a T and I have been together for what feels like forever. We know each other and understand each other like nobody else can but there will be new things that we will learn about each other as we go along. The outburst on Wednesday night was uncalled for - but we discussed the issues and both came to a compromise. I have so much growing up to do.
I am just sooo tired and exhausted from sleep deprivation and to top things off - I started in my new position today. I am trying to juggle 10 things all at once.
Oh and Ex-Boyfriend tried to chat me up again last night. He is like a total loser and really just irritated me all over again. What I ever saw in him is beyond me. I haven't spoken to him in yonks and than out of the blue he texts me and wants to know how I am and if I am single so we can go out sometime. Talk about a one in a million in your dreams sort of question and answer. He is one weird dude who really needs to get a LIFE.... Lol.
Pheeew I am so glad that Monday is almost over. It's like this whole day I have been flitting from my old department to my new one. Luckily it's in the same building otherwise I think I would have passed out by now. There is just so much to get through at the moment and even though I am loving it all - the butterflies keep coming back like little fluttery tufts that make me get all nervous inside - Im such a cliche - I know....
So everything is back on track - touch wood....
The date's been set for the engagement in 2 weeks time. On Saturday we trudged the malls and boutiques looking for a decent outfit to buy. It has to be pretty but not too fancy, elegant but not too over the top. It was hectic and the fussy gal that I am - I just couldn't make up my mind. It was fun - I was with my cuz and her two girls and my mum. We finally ended up buying something on Saturday night a really pretty Eastern outfit that just fit perfectly. Yesterday was spent at Sandton City again with the girls and it was such fun. It feels like a whirlwind and things are just happening at lightning speed. I am excited and a little scared. I get butterflies in my tummy whenever I think about it. It is just too overwhelming at times. But the plannings on track and soooo hectic.
Sweets a.k.a T and I have been together for what feels like forever. We know each other and understand each other like nobody else can but there will be new things that we will learn about each other as we go along. The outburst on Wednesday night was uncalled for - but we discussed the issues and both came to a compromise. I have so much growing up to do.
I am just sooo tired and exhausted from sleep deprivation and to top things off - I started in my new position today. I am trying to juggle 10 things all at once.
Oh and Ex-Boyfriend tried to chat me up again last night. He is like a total loser and really just irritated me all over again. What I ever saw in him is beyond me. I haven't spoken to him in yonks and than out of the blue he texts me and wants to know how I am and if I am single so we can go out sometime. Talk about a one in a million in your dreams sort of question and answer. He is one weird dude who really needs to get a LIFE.... Lol.
Pheeew I am so glad that Monday is almost over. It's like this whole day I have been flitting from my old department to my new one. Luckily it's in the same building otherwise I think I would have passed out by now. There is just so much to get through at the moment and even though I am loving it all - the butterflies keep coming back like little fluttery tufts that make me get all nervous inside - Im such a cliche - I know....
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