Stressed

I came in to work this morning and feel like I have run a marathon. Two days out of the office, a hundred and one emails later and I feel like I need sleep. Tons of sleep. I feel soooo tired. I am so glad that is Friday tomorrow. One would never guess that I was out of the office for 2 days. So my exam went well. I didn't end up studying really hard. I figured that since it was an open book exam it wouldn't be too hard. And it wasn't. It was more objective and I think that they were more concerned with the student's own views etc. I didn't think it went badly. I just hope that my marks reflect that.

So I got the job that I was being interviewed for. I had a few nostalgic moments this morning when the offer was made. It is not a grand offer in terms of salary, but the exposure will be great. I find myself getting excited and yet still feel a bit nervous. What if I hate it, what if I don't adapt quickly, what if this and what if that? But I figured that I have nothing to loose and if I hate it than at least I know that I tried it and it isnt for me. I have been in this department for a really long time and even though there were times all I wanted to do was throw in the towel, I stayed and persevered and have in turn learn't a great deal. I know that I need a change and a new challenge will be great. I have been contemplating this for some time now, but last year everything in my life was so off balance that I felt work was the only stable aspect of my life and I decided to shelve any ideas.

So yeah - Im excited and a bit nervous and scared. But its a chance and a challenge and I am sooo up for it.

I just hope that everything else in my life can just kind of fall into place. I am so tired of the wondering and the guessing. It sometimes just all seems so complicated and I really wish that the complicatedness can pass. I get very antsy and anxious at times and I know I shouldn't, cos it's just stressing me out totally. And Stress is bad - right.

I am just crossing my fingers that it all works out in the end. There just seems so much to deal with at the moment; Sweets and I getting married, where we going to live, his family and their weird overpossessiveness and everything else that is so stressing me out at the moment. It all just seems so complicated!!!!