Monday, January 14, 2008

Hmmmmm

I started this post yesterday and didnt end up completing it. I felt so tired and drained and with most people back from leave its like the working year has finally begun. I was busy busy busy and didnt get much time for anything.....

Monday's half attempt at blogging:
I feel like I have just run a marathon. My weekend was busy busy and more busy. By yesterday afternoon - A dark cloud had settled over me, cos I just felt that the weekend was over and I didn't get any me time. I felt like I was moving on fast-forward.

Friday night I went to visit the most beautiful and gorgeous baby girl I have ever seen. She looks like this little porcelain doll. I felt so sorry for this little innocent being. From the day she was born, she has been in the middle of a custody battle between her biological parents and her new adoptive parents. What was supposed to be a happy event and one mother's self-sacrifice to bring joy and love into the lives of two people who are dearest to her, became a living nightmare. Unfortunately the little angel was termed to have been born with a genetic defect and on hearing this, the adoptive parents refused to take the child. How insensitive and how low can people be?

The nature of the genetic defect is still not clear and the baby looks like a normal little baby girl. Only the tests will reveal whether she does have it or not. However in all this stress and tension, the adoptive parents couldn't decide if they wanted the baby or not. First it was their perfect life and they had no space for this little being. Than they needed time to think about it and than it was no rather not and than again they decided that they wanted it. In all this confusion the biological parents decided that no matter what the baby is theirs and whether it is normal or not, they will care and love it. I keep thinking that this little innocent being is not a toy or a piece of clothing that you walk into the shop to buy. I sometimes wonder about the morals of people and whether they really really wanted a child, or was it just the novelty of having a baby. All babies are cute and adorable but this little girl is almost angelic. How can anyone not want this little baby, who is so peaceful and looks so beautiful as she lies there in her cot.

We had guests over on Saturday for the weekend. Although these are people that we are rather close to, I was totally irritated by the time they left yesterday. My cousin who I was trying to hook up with someone is the most morbid person I have ever met. First of all, she and her sister dont speak a word. They will talk when they are spoken to, but they are not engaging at all. They were miserable and irritating and I couldnt believe that these people are actually my cousins with whom I share numerous childhood memories with. I came to work this morning feeling very negative and miserable. I have decided that I don't want to get involved in her dramas. I have tons of my own and nobody helps me. So the guy that I was wanting to get her hooked up - sorry. And it will be more her loss - cos I think that he is a really nice guy. She has these strange ideals and perceptions and I don't want to get involved in her dramatics. She is old enough and she probably knows what she wants. Besides there is very few people who will jump to get involved and seriously show compassion in my drama's.

That being said, my weekend was ok.... Nothing too fantastic - just busy being busy!

I saw Sweets fleetingly over the weekend. He had family commitments but made time to come see me on Sunday night. I am so impressed by the level of maturity that our relationship has reached. I know that the happenings of last year has a lot to do with it. Even though I don't like to admit this, but the break-up and the time apart actually made us grow up and value what is important. I happen to like this new place that we are in. Touch Wood - LOL.....

I am feeling really tired and one would never guess that I have just come back from leave. It's as though I have never left. My need for change is still as imminent as ever and I am seriously scanning the job market looking for opportunities. There is also this need for more financial gain - there is nothing like a few added 1000's to really add some Ooomph. LOL.....
That sounded really funny. I know that I am very picky and fussy and will find fault with almost everything, but its time that I looked at the bigger picture and focused on what really matters and that is job satisfaction. I want to do something that will make me want to get up in the morning, that will challenge me and make me want to get up and go. I want, I want, I want.....

Hhmmmph - Will I ever get??????




6 comments:

Nicole said...

I so know how it feels. It feels like I never went on leave at all and have been working straight through. That is so sad about that baby though. people often forget that babies aren't objects - they are HUMAN BEINGS. I hope that the little baby girl gets a good home and parents that will love her regardless. Oh btw I found your site on amatomu.

Blue Sunflower said...

Hi Nicole

I know people can be so insensitive. It saddens me to think that this poor innocent child was so unwanted. As for them being human beings and not objects - you are so correct.

Thanks for the comment.....At least signing was on amatomu wasnt all in vain lol....

Anonymous said...

It's a pleasure. I don't know whay blogger doesn't have an option where I can leave my blog adress but it's http://sleepyjane.wordpress.com/

And I also signed up with no luck - so I took matters into my own hands. ;) lol I mostly have American and Brit readers but none from SA. So I went hunting for SA bloggers and I found you. :)

Blue Sunflower said...

Thanks for leaving your addy - I clicked on your name and was disappointed that I couldnt get to read your blog. Thanks :)

Glad you found me - i have only recently started blogging here religiously. I used to blog on mweb but that place a bit on the strange side - so i visit there now and than - but prefer it here.

Will follow the link and read up on your blog :)

SleepyJane said...

Hey - I've added you to my blogroll - hope you don't mind? :)

Blue Sunflower said...

Its cool - I added you too...

I hope you don't mind.