Thursday, February 28, 2008

Drama and Disappointments

There was huge drama at house no 2 last night. Screaming, shouting - one big barney. I am just so tired and disappointed. I don't know what the fuck is going on anymore and to be honest I am really trying not to freaking care. There is just too much policitics, too many ulterior motives and too many dramatics that can make your head spin.

Sweets and I are supposed to set a date for the engagement party. It's supposed to happen sometime in March or April, depending on the availability of all parties concerned. It is not a religous function, but more traditional. So him and his dad were at house no 2 last night and we were discussing who to call etc. Now Sweet's dad, lets call him The Dad, is almost like my own father. He has been a part of my life even before Sweets and I got together and he knows my parents history and has been a part of my life ever since the day my dad left. I will rather go to him with a problem than go to my own father. He is the father figure in my life and I respect him and love him as if he were my own father. So naturally he will want to have a say etc in whatever we doing. I don't mind that. However last night went a little too far.

Sweets and I had this huge fight - he was getting irritated and pissed off with his dad and ended up throwing a tantrum like a 5 year old with me. It was pathetic and I ended up saying that if this is how you want to carry on - than I don't think I want to do this anymore. It was ugly and not nice. They than had their say and left.

I am so disappointed and have all these doubts and fears that are making me think 10 times about this. I am feeling so confused and am not sure what the way forward should be. I honestly thought that things were great and that we were moving towards a more mature relationship. But last night just put a damper on everything and I am really not sure about anything anymore.

I am just so disappointed and feel so defeated. I keep reflecting back to the past year that was. I was convinced that him and I were over and I had to move on and get on with my life. And I was prepared to do just that. And than he came back and we started over and things were pretty perfect. But after last night - I am two-minded, I am getting cold feet and I am confused.

4 comments:

Spotless said...

Hmmmm...

Why not move in together first and see how that works? :))

sleepyjane said...

Oh that really bites the big one. I hope you guys resolve it quickly. Or that you'd find a solution.

Good luck and sending you good thoughts!

sweets said...

delurking!

tough one, my advice... rather make VERY sure before you commit, i'm divorced and let me tell you, not advisable! was this the first time he's done this??

sweets said...

and how funny is that... i'm also SWEETS?!