Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Fast Forward

Hmmmmm - so its happening.

Sweets and I are going to live on our own. It's settled. I guess I should count my lucky stars that I don't have to live with his parents in their home. But - and the but is what is kind of getting me all panicked. They are buying the house next door. I guess it's much better than living with them altogether in one house, or having like a seperate living quarters that is so traditional with Indian families. This will be like my own house which is great. If only it weren't right next door.

With the way things were going these past few weeks - I guess I should say I got what I wanted. However the but feeling still comes in. I know and understand that Sweets is close to his family. They are his parents and I don't want to keep him away from them. I would also want him to love and respect my family so I guess this is a compromise. It's just unfortunate that I happen to know a great deal about them. And things are rather complicated and intricate. I just hope that they don't interfere in my life and feel that they have a right to comment on whatever I do. That will not be nice. I don't mind compromising but I don't want to be told what to do, where to go and how to live my life.

I freak out a great deal with regards to getting married. What if, what if, what it? It's not cold feet - he makes me happy and I absolutely love spending time with him, being with him etc etc. Marriage is a huge step and although I know it is what I want - I still get scared.

I spent the night tossing and turning. There are just too many thoughts swirling through my head right now. It's exciting, scary, happy and sad all at the same time. Since the day I was a little girl I would dream of my wedding. I can't believe that it is here and about to happen.

Scary Shit if you ask me....

Oh and by the way - don't ever trust people that you meet online. I got chatting to someone and he was really sweet. I didn't start up a conversation with him for it to go any further. I am a very friendly person and love meeting new people. However this person lied about everything. Just goes to show that people that you meet online are never quiet what they seem. Sorry to all my other friends that I have met online and with who I share a special relationship, but you just have to be careful of people that you meet online.....

5 comments:

sleepyjane said...

Awww. Congratulations! :) I think you'll just have to take it one step at a time and if they do do something to bother and upset you just talk to them and make them understand that it's your house! :)

How did you find out he's a liar? I'm always wary of believing people I chat to on the net. Blogs I find easier to trust 'cause if the person is lying they'll always be caught out and contradict themselves you know? But myspace? It's a bit dodgy. :)

Blue Sunflower said...

Aah Thanks. Yeah it is so scary but i will just take one step at a time and hope for the best...'
:)

We got chatting and he said he was this hot dj for one of the radio stations and shame he seemed really sweet. So obviously being the curious cat that I am - i asked him which radio and he refused to tell me. We got chatting and stuff and none of his stories made sense. I eventually asked him straight out - and he kind of confessed. It kind of pissed me off though. It is easier to trust people on the blogs - but yeah myspace is rather dodgy....

I have been unable to access your blog - not sure why i keep getting an error. How are things with you and J?

saaleha. bamjee. hyphen. said...

It is scary. I'm flippin out totally.

All the responsibility that lies ahead leaves me without breath.

But I think all that apprehension dissolves as soon as you're united in the sanctity of Nikah :)

I'm hoping.

Blue Sunflower said...

Saleha - I am hoping too...

It is just too scary for words...

Spotless said...

Hmmmmmm :))