Scribbles

The weekend was just too busy for my liking. I ended up doing manual physical labour, that was fun, but overall I just felt like a duracell bunny gone flat when Monday morning rolled around. I slept badly and felt like I needed an extra day to recover. Monday's really get to me. I see Mondays as huge giant Potholes in the road of life. And to top it all, we have a standard meeting with my boss for like 2 hours that just gets me into a total daze.

I have decided to focus on getting my work done on time, instead of hurrying towards deadlines at the last minute. I love the pressure and the hype and buzz that comes with reaching a deadline, but sometimes I just feel so strung out. Unfortunately I tend to loose concentration rather quickly which doesnt help much. But hey im trying and after today and the meeting I had with my team - I feel that I can safely say all our deadlines will be me. Our Year End Function is next week and although I am looking forward to it, a part of me is dreading it. We have some real drama queens here that tend to bitch and moan about everything. Anyhow I have decided not to let it get to me and if they want to complain, than so be it.

Im still missing T, more than ever. I love getting sweet little sms's from him, which makes me miss him even more. Although I cant wait for him to come back, I am also a little scared. He wants to make our relationship official and get engaged. The thought is exciting, I mean that is something that every girl, well almost every girl dreams about since she is little. But its also a litle terrifying. After the dramatics and the complications that happened last year, I still sometimes get all antsy and tend to freak out. But I'm working on it and just trying to take one day at a time and trying to focus on the good parts.

As for my career dilemmas, I have decided to seriously take stock of myself come the new year. I need to sit down, decide what I want to do and where I want to go. I have to decide and stop being scared of change and make some decisions. If I dont, I will find myself in the same place next year, with the same complaints and the should haves. Its all about focusing on me and what I want and what's important to me.