Pity Party

Everything just seems a little off balance at the moment. It is as though the world has decided to pick on me this week. On Sunday T and his dad had an argument over something really dumb in my mind. We haven't seen him since than, although T says that things are fine. On Monday my mum and I had a huge fight. Something petty but huge in my book. I stormed out of the house crying and went home a blubbering mess. We made peace yesterday but it still upsetted me. Today T and I had a fight over a fucking Nintendo game. How lame is that.

My job does not interest me any longer nor does it challenge me in the way that I would like to be challenged. I constantly feel that I am just putting out fires that are petty and nonsense. I am not sure what I want to do but this doesn't seem right for me any longer. It's as though there is a bee that is biting me and I want to do something different. It's as though I am screaming out for change and newness in a positive way. I am not sure what is wrong with me or how to deal with this. I feel trapped.

There is a position that has piqued my interest. I am not sure if I would qualify for the position but it is right up my alley with wanting to do my masters in Psychology next year. I am waiting for it to be advertised so I can apply, however I am not even sure if I would meet the requirements which would be so typical regarding me and my career.

I sometimes wish that I had studied something less complex. If you study medicine, you go on to become a doctor, pharmacy - pharmacist, accounting - accountant. I studied Psychology so naturally one would think that I would end up being a Psychologist. Oh no - one has to their masters and I didn't end up doing it because one needs a great amount of life experience to be considered for the course. This is the avenue that I want to take so I know that I have to apply to do my masters next year.

I am throwing a pity party today.