Thursday, February 19, 2009

Feeling Weird

I feel like absolute crap. I mean in the physcial sense. I feel tired and my body feels like a thousand trucks spent the night going over it. I woke up really early this morning and actually felt really fine. However soon afterwards I felt really woozy and a little nauseous. I am stressing - I hope I am not pregnant. I really, really hope not.

It's not that I don't want a baby. I do - just not yet. I don't think I am quite ready to have a baby yet. I know that I don't want to work full time when I do have children and I don't think that it will be possible just yet. I would love to do something from home or work flexible hours at least. Besides I still want to do my masters next year. I am really stressed out about this. I guess I could take a pregnancy test. I haven't missed a period yet - so maybe I am stressing for nothing. I checked my blood pressure this morning because I am prone to experiencing low blood pressure at times which makes me feel like this as well. Being anaemic also doesn't help much as I tend to feel crappy a great deal of the time.

I know that I am really tired. Although we are not that hectic at work, things are always stressful here. When I get home there are like a million things to do because I plan these elaborate meals and there is still the cleaning up to do. T helps me at least but I prefer to do it on my own as I have a certain way of doing things. Perfectionist me ok. Today I am making Pasta. Easy pasta - nothing tooo fancy.... I don't mind the cooking bit, I enjoy cooking for T but this past weekend really took it's toll on me. I really need to become more savvy in dodging my Mother in Law and her opportunistic ways otherwise I am going to start really hating weekends.

I really really hope I am not pregnant.

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