Looking Forward

This week has gone by in a blur. I have been so busy, I haven't even had time to read up on other blogs that I enjoy reading. I know being busy is good, but when the busy means printing out enough paper to last a lifetime, faxing documents until the freaking printer/copier/faxer gets stuffed up. That has been my week - seriously I stuffed up the copier twice this week. I think it was some paper load or something.

So that is what my job has come to. To be honest - I acutally miss having staff under me. I know I used to complain about managing staff and getting performance targets out of them - but I do miss them. I miss having team meetings where we get to share and brainstorm ideas. In this department there is a standard meeting every Tuesday and I have never been to it because every week its cancelled. I miss having a team to discuss stuff with. I am working in isolation - I touch base with my boss almost daily but its just different. I miss having a team to oversee. Maybe I was cut out to be in a management role after all. And to think that I thought I would never ever miss having staff under me. Well at least now I know.

I went for an interview this week Wednesday. What a mission to sneak out of the office on the pretext of taking my car to the garage only to trawl along Jan Smuts drive for like an hour because of the load shedding. It was sheer torture and I did contemplate turning back and coming back to the office. Well at least I made it and the interview went really well. It was with an agency, but they were so professional and in half an hour it was over. I am crossing my fingers that I get called back for an interview with the company cos the position seems really nice and it is in my field of what I am qualified to do. I have another interview on Wednesday, this time with the company. I am hoping all goes well. I don't want to continue working for this company. There is just way too many internal political agendas going on at the moment and everyone is feeling very skeptical. I feel bad that if I leave I will have to leave my current boss in the lurch. She is a really nice person, a little clueless at times and not very hands on in the sense of telling me what I need to do - but I don't think she will be very happy if I have to leave. Anyhoo - that's how it is I guess. Ive been here for 4 years. 4 Long years of endless drama - I think enough is enough. I am really crossing my fingers that one of these positions come through.

So T and I have set a date for the 14th of December. I am looking forward to it, the planning and organising and getting it all together. I miss him like crazy when we are not together but there are still some things that scare me shitless. I will definitely miss home. We are a very close-knit family. It is a result of what we went through with my Dad. I know that I will still be able to see them everyday but it wont be the same. I am really going to miss my mum.

I am off to the bridal expo this weekend. I hope I get some nice ideas - really need some inspiration. Now the planning and hopefully the fun begins. My cuz is getting engaged on the 20th of April, one day before my Birthday. I'm so excited for her. I wish her all the happiness, love, peace and contentment. She deserves it.

I have chosen a venue but someone has booked it without paying the deposit. The lady will only be able to tell me today if I can have it. I am crossing my fingers here. I went and saw another place as well. It is this castle sort of venue. Really beautiful - but the main hall is not yet complete. I don't want to take a chance by paying the deposit only to hate the end product or worse yet to find that the construction is incomplete. So I think I will go with the first venue. It is really beautiful, a bit expensive as it is only for the venue with tables and chairs. The price doesn't include crockery, cutlery etc. All that is extra. But it's beautiful and not far from home - so that's what counts.

I am beginning to worry a little about finances. I can't expect for my mum to pay for everything. And things are so pricey today. At least we have a few months to get everything sorted. I'm still stressing a little..... I guess the jittery, nervous feeling is only going to escalate as we near the wedding. I am a perfectionist. I just don't want the whole planning and organising part to be a stress and a drag. It is supposed to be a fun and exciting time and I want to make the most of it....