Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Why

So T and I didnt fight last night. It was a breakthrough. However he thinks that everything is fine and I know that it isnt. Whats right in this relationship? Yes he calls me, tells me countless times he loves me, phones me the whole day, but he doesnt spend time with me. He visits me at work, sometimes for a few minutes, but that is suicide compared to the amount of time that the two of us used to spend time together. So when do I get to see him, when do I get to feel him hold me in his arms, when do I get to kiss him without a care in the world.

This relationship feels like its long distance, when we only live about 10 min from each other. The other day, we were fighting and I asked him, why doesnt he come and visit me and he told me that he will never visit me. Now tell me, how in his right mind does he think we can have a relationship, if we dont spend any time together. T used to practically live at my house. He only used to go home to sleep. He wants to get married. He is not even 25 years old, i just dont see the rush. Besides I am terrified of his parents. They just seem like the intefering kind that I really am afraid of them. Actually it isnt him that wants to get married, its his parents. I really am not sure why, but i just think that there really isnt any hurry.

I dont know, how much longer I can take of this. This is a sick game and I am getting tired of playing it. I want it all, or nothing. I have been prepared to leave him from the day this crap started. However he doesnt want me to go. My question: What does he want?

1 comment:

seher's shenanigans said...

you mind me followin you?
cuz this post from 2006 tells me you waited and believed in love.. which i really dont do..
i feel time is a factor that is keeping me mad into gettin all the wrong sorts but you give me that light of hope and i dont want that hope to drain..