Stresses

I have spent the last 2 weeks stressing about work, wedding venues, my cousin who decided to leave her husband after 5 days of marriage, my upcoming wedding and a whole lot of other minor little things that just seem to pop out of nowhere.

Well at least the work issue has been kind off sorted. My boss was away for 2 weeks which felt more like 2 years. The amount of crap that went on here while she was away made me very nervous and I honestly thought that when she gets back there is going to be a huge explosion to that of Pearl Harbour. We had a long discussion about everything and all she did was put me at ease and make me feel a whole lot better. I explained to her how I kept feeling like I was failing and not meeting her expectations. She very nicely told me that in no way must I feel like a failure and she is very impressed with all that I have been doing. I must admit that this week seems to be going a whole lot better.

I found a new venue and really had to grovel for them to give it to me. See there are some people from my distant past who are using the same venue on the Saturday night. Why to they have to come and get married where I live - surely there are places where they could have hosted their wedding right in there hometown. Anyway the schlep will be that the place will have to be all clean and ready for my wedding. The lady has given me her word that she will get her people to clean up the place even if they have to work through the night to make it ready for my wedding. I have booked a really cool lady to do my decor. Her ideas are mind boggling and she really is a wonderful person. I am just crossing my fingers that nothing else goes awry now. I still have to sort our my flowers and centerpieces - my mind kind of boggles just thinking about it. I'm sure she will give me some ideas.

I have to start calling all the service providers from the prize that I won in April. I have an appointment with my designer at the end of September. I have met her once and she seems really nice. I find myself getting all excited and than I start to stress. I know I shouldn't but I do - I guess it's only natural. I worry about the wedding, my new life with T, leaving my home and setting up domesticity in T and my new home. Scary scary thoughts.

My cousin S and all her antics really haven't eased up my scary thoughts. I mean she got married on the Saturday and 2 weeks later the whole thing had come to a screaming halt. She and her hubby A cut their 2 week honeymoon short and she came straight to our house all teary eyed and sad looking. We empathised with her, spent hours talking to her and listening to her and believed her every word. All we did was think A was the worst person ever and crucified him for every action that he had done. However there was a piece missing. We couldn't understand how things went so wrong. She made all sorts off accusations and we believed them. Most of their issues were bedroom related. She was adamant and refused to go back and insisted that she was repulsed by him and didn't find him attractive blah, blah, blah. And we believed it!

That is the hardest for any of us to come to grips with. She duped us into thinking that he was this asshole. He has come out with his side of the story - why he didn't do it that time is beyond me. His version is one that can make you sick to the pit of your stomach. While the 2 of them were on honeymoon, she kept on receiving calls from other guys. She was permanantly chatting to other guys using mxit, texts and phone calls. When he questioned her about it she got all angry and defensive. She claims he raped her. Ummm first off all how can there be rape in a marriage and secondly he has come out saying that it was more like the other way round. She has told every Tom, Dick and Mary everything about their sex life - things that will one blush. She has no qualms about telling everyone how crappy he is in bed.

Her colourful past is now coming to the fore and the things that she has done give the word slut a whole new meaning. I can't believe all the shit she has gotten up to. Every man was fair game to her. The things that we have heard about her have kind of made us all sick with disgust. A still wants her back regardless of what she has done. My opinion - all what is happening is her own fault.

I really hope that I can get the chance to blog more. Things have been crazy of late and I haven't had time for much lately. It's the 10th fast today. It seems to be whizzing by......