Tough Week

I have been pretty quiet this past week. I didn't have much inspiration to blog. To be honest I was pretty out of it. T and I had a blazing row on Friday night. We both ended up saying some pretty mean and nasty things. I was upset with him, refused to talk to him and even threatened to call the wedding off. Maybe it was childish of me I don't know.

All is sorted in the world and I just hope that we can manage to keep our emotions in check and not freak out at every turn. I think the stress is also a contributing factor. I know that the stress levels are just going to increase as the wedding draws nearer but I don't want that to happen. I don't want to stress over every little detail. I want to enjoy it and look back one day and think that I had fun planning my wedding.

We have made up since and I guess it made us both realise that there are times when we need a little time out. Shame the poor guy really tried to get me to forgive him. I was a little hard on him at first but all seems to be sorted. At least making up was fun ;)

This has been a really tough week. We being restructured, I had to apply for new positions and to be honest I am a little freaked out by what happens next. What if I don't get the position that I apply for, what if I get placed in some backwater. What if, What if, What if? Its all a little overwhelming right now.

I wasn't in a good space at all and things seem to be coming back to normal but I still feel like a ball of nerves. I just hope that all goes well and I get placed doing something that I will enjoy. The last 3 months in this new position haven't been very easy and I actually hated it. Although I have gotten the hang of it - I didnt even apply for it with the restructure. It's an area that needs the patience of a saint and really doesn't interest me at all.

I am totally exhausted and cant wait to go home.