Sucks.......

I am not in a very good space right now. That position that I soooo badly wanted has apparently been offered to someone who was affected in the restructure and wasn't placed. I don't know if it is official yet - I just heard through the grapevine that they want to offer it to him. I'm sure it's probably true - why wouldn't it be.

Oh well with that said and done, I guess I need to re-evaluate my needs and well as my career aspirations.

Why oh Why do I never get what I really want.... I know all about the crap regarding you only get what is destined for you, but still it sucks. This has always been the case regarding my career. There are always things that I would really want to do but they somehow tend to always be out of my reach.

This just sucks!!!!

Pheewwww

I almost called in sick yesterday but at the last minute decided to rather come in to work cos you know how things go down here. If you not here for even an hour things usually go awry and the entire department collapses. By 15:30 I was ready to pack up and go home. I was exhausted after having no weekend. In fact today is none the better. Also the fact that work has been such a drag lately is really not doing much for my energy levels.

This past weekend was a whirlwind of events. On Friday night we were invited for supper to T's friend's house. The one who didn't invite me to her bridal shower etc etc etc. Anyway her wedding was on Saturday night, so we were invited for dinner the Friday night. Saturday night was the wedding and I spent the morning preparing for Sunday, than visited my mum and than came home to get ready for the wedding. The wedding was lovely. Small and plain but nice. I was rather peeved when the entire centerpiece filled with blue water toppled over and nearly ruined my clothes. There I was sitting and enjoying dessert when these stupid children leaned over and the whole vase came towards me like a wave ready to topple. I moved but not before my entire chair was filled with water not to mention my skirt and a small portion of my shirt. Luckily my skirt was black and its a really strange fabric because in no time it was dry. That really put a damper on the evening and all I wanted to do was now go home.

On Sunday the in-laws left for overseas but not after the dad invited all his friends for lunch. The mum decided on a braai, and I ended up doing almost everything again as everyone certainly lacks initiative. Their flight was at 10pm so we only came home at 10:30 from the airport. Pheew am I glad that they aren't here for the next 3 weeks. What peace - it's like heaven.

As for work - I am just so tired and inspired. I am not sure when the other position is going to be advertised cos the whole restructuring process only ends next week Monday. I am just soooo tired of the crap that goes on here and if that position doesn't work out I will seriously need to re-think what I am going to do because I just can't stay on here doing this anymore.

I think that, that is enough griping from me.

Pheewww

The weekend in a blur

Pheew what a weekend and it isn't even payday yet. Guess what - I so needed the retail therapy, it just made me feel a whole lot human again.

On Saturday morning my mum and I decided to go to the Oriental Plaza. I needed tablecloths and what better place to go bargain hunting than to the Plaza. I ended up buying a whole lot of more stuff than just tablecloths. I found the most loveliest fabrics for curtains at one of my favourite curtain and fabric shops. I need curtains for my kitchen and all my bathrooms and so I spent about 2 hours in the shop choosing and deciding. I decided on a lovely taffetta for the bathrooms which I am going to have made into Roman Blinds. I just love those blinds and because the windows are small - these types of blinds are just perfect. For the kitchen I chose a white organza with black and silver geometric circles. My kitchen is black and white and I don't want to loose that chicness by putting something to floral. Besides I am by no means a floral too flowery person so this is jut perfect.

I than had to visit my favourite favourite store in the Plaza - Urban Vibe (UV). They always have the trendiest of clothes at ridiculously low prices. The bargains that one gets is really crazy. Their purses were marked at half price on Saturday and I got a really cool Guess purse for R250.00. I bought a whole lot of kitchen stuff as well from one of our other haunts. I love going to the Plaza for random stuff cos one always gets a bargain no matter what...

Yesterday morning I finally got my ass to the gym after I am not sure how many months. It was torture I tell you. I came back and went with the mum and sister to the mall again. I didn't really buy much but by yesterday afternoon I was soooo tired. Not to mention my body that was in agony from the gym workout. Hahaha at least it wasn't all in vain.. I just hope that I can manage to go consistently as I can feel that I really need the excercise.

Last night T and I were really in the mood for Nando's. We were in the mood for some Peri-Peri delight since last week and were planning to have some at the airport on Friday night as F and the crew left for Saudi. Unfortunately we were invited for supper to the dad's new best friend's house and couldn't go. After a really boring evening we hightailed it out of there. So Nando's it was - I can eat Nando's anytime..... :). I was quite impressed with the new Nando's in Fordsburg.....

We finished off the weekend by watching the Bucket List, but our mind's were really not on the movie because of some really weird development that has happened. I am not sure what to make of it but I must say that I am disgusted and really pissed off about this. Later!

My New Purse. I love it...

Fate, Destiny.....

So -
I told my boss today that I would like to apply for the position and funny enough she knew about it. Maybe that's why she was looking at me strangely this week - hmmm not sure. But you know how people talk and I did tell the hiring manager for the position that I would inform my boss. Well anyhoo - she said she wouldn't stand in my way and as soon as it's advertised I should let her know so that she is aware....

So 2 hurdles down - a few more to go. The position wasn't filled during the restructure and my boss has given me permission to apply so now all I have to do is wait until its advertised and me thinks that it will only happen in April once the restructure is completed. And than I have to apply and go for the interview and than who knows.......

Still crossing fingers and toes like crazy.... I know I shouldn't think too much about it but it is something that I so want to do and so within my career plans..... I want it so badly.

Pheew today was a long day and I so can't wait for the weekend. I have no real plans but at least I get to sleep in late. T and I had an argument last night. Something about priorities. I proceeded to give him the cold shoulder the whole of last night and we kind of made peace this morning but I still have to have my say tonight. I have to get it off my chest otherwise it will just fester and brew and that's not good at all. I feel him so sorry at times but he really needs to stand up for himself where his family is concerned. I know that it's his family but still hello. Don't they think. They just expect him to be at their beck and call for everything. It irks me to no end. He on the other hand in my opinion doesn't know any better.

I must admit that I am feeling really positive after the chat I had with my boss. I also went and got feedback regarding my psychometric evaluation that I did last year. Why they just don't give me the report is beyond me but anyway the profile isnt't bad - I was expecting far worse lol. It's good so that shouldn't be a problem regarding my scores. Still I am nervous and worried. I want it so badly and sometimes when I really, really want something - it doesn't happen. Than again whatever is mean't to be will be right....

Clean

Hmmm - so the position that I have been blabbering on about has not been filled. The announcements went out today and that position wasn't on the list. I called the hiring manager for the job and she confirmed that the position remains unfilled and I am welcome to apply when it is advertised. She couldn't give me a time though. I am not sure whether to be excited or not. A part of me is, however at the moment I feel very despondent when it comes to work and my career. I know I shouldn't be negative but the area that I work in has been really trying and I get no support from my manager. I always thought that she was great, but she favours who she wants to and because I just get on with it and do it and I don't run every 5 min to her office sucking up - I get ignored. It is frustrating and I am constantly questioning myself whether I am doing things right or not.

I will definitely apply for the position once it is advertised, however I do need to inform my boss of my intentions. She can block my application, because I am not in my position for a year and company policy is that you have to get authorisation to apply if you are not in your current portfolio for a year or she will allow me to apply. I really am not sure - however I would like to apply for it. To be quite honest - right now it seems like a light at the end of this tunnel. It seems like a glimmer of hope where I can at least prove to succeed amidst challenges and obstacles.

I am sooo buggered after this weekend. Yesterday was the dad's bday party. His 50th mind you. I am so exhausted - the whole party was at my house and I planned and planned and planned and at least it all went off without a hitch. Except that the mum and dad got into the car this morning at 5am and drove to Durban. I knew they were going but she was in no way bovvered to clear up or anything. She still has the nerve to say - oh well leave it all, go sleep you must be tired. I looked at her incredulously and told her never - I can not go and sleep with my kitchen looking like a warzone of food and stuff. She really is strange. At least the party went off ok. That's all that matters right. For the first time did my in laws have a function that was close to perfect. I am not blowing my own horn - but my mum and I really went to a whole lot of trouble to making it pretty great. Oh the others all helped but the ideas were all ours. Whether it is appreciated is still left to be seen.

At least my house was clean this morning.... :)

Hello.....

Fingers Crossed

So.

The position that I really have my heart set on was advertised and guess what I meet the requirements to apply. BUT - I can't apply just yet because it was advertised during the restructure phase and since I'm not an affected incumbent, I am unable to apply. If the position remains unfilled when the restrucutre is completed, only than can I be considered. It is a long shot and if it does get filled than it's gone and the sucky feelings that I constantly feel towards my job are just going to escalate. This is so in line with my career plans and where I ultimately want to be.

Please cross your fingers and toes as I hope and pray that the position doesn't get filled so that I can be considered...... Oh and by the way the position reports into my old manager who I got along really well with. I chatted to her this morning about it and she advised me to inform my line manager etc etc etc. I told her to please keep me in mind....

Here's to really really, really hoping..... Fingers Crossed!!!!!!