Something for my new found fans.....

Hmmm - To all my new found fans.....

My previous blog post was about me. I needed to vent. Some new developments had occured and I needed to vent. I don't need to explain to anyone, as this is my blog. Yes it might be on the internet for all the world to see but this is my blog. My personal space to vent and write and put things into perspective. To me writing down what I am feeling is a catharsis and a means to understand the tumultous thoughts that constantly whirl through my mind. So to the anon's who feel quick to judge me, you don't know me. You don't know my life, you don't know what i've been through and what I continue to go through. So yes you are welcome to your opinions, I cannot stop that but YOU DON'T KNOW ME! You all talk about judging - so how come you judging me..... As I have said, this is my blog, my personal space so if I want to judge and vent and rant and rave - Guess What - I can.

I am a devout Muslim and I firmly believe in fate and destiny. I believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason and for me right now that reason is pretty hazy and fuzzy but I am confident that those reasons will eventually come to the fore and this drama will come to an end. I have faith in God and I have faith that this is just a test and this too shall pass. He is the Supreme Being and He controls everything. Yes I do feel sorry for myself, yes there are days when I feel that the world owes me something, and yes I do feel crap most of the time because I feel like I am fighting a war that never ends. Yet I try to carry on with the day, give thanks for all that I do have and continue to have faith in God that the sun will shine again. However I AM BUT HUMAN.....

Caz - Thanks lady. I always used to wonder if many people ever read my blog. I guess I got my answer now. Instead of lurking and placing anonymous comments why don't they own up and say what they have to say by signing their names. I know we all go through different trials in life, but the pain and the hurt is all the same. And yes, people who cannot understand it probably never had to go through a tough time or are just bitter and full of resentment.

Anon 3 (Tal) - Thanks for always commenting. Your thoughts and insights are always welcoming....

Cassey - Thanks for the support....

Royally F......

I am convinced that when it comes to me - God does not have a conscience.......

Question

A million questions with no answers.......

Thats me!

My World and you....

You call and my world comes alive with bursts of colour and promise. The sound of your voice makes me weak at the knees and my heart feels like it's going to jump out, that's how fast it beats. I find myself walking around with silly little secret smiles and thoughts and my mind wanders to you.

I see you and my world ceases to exist. Everything comes to a crashing halt. My world is full of energy and I can actually smile again. We dance around with flirty words and thoughts that spell a lifetime of memories. We laugh and joke, tease and banter, chatter and converse. The world is a happy colourful place again.

Than you disappear in a flash of dust.

And my world is grey again........

I was robbed....

I was robbed yesterday afternoon. I was on my way home from fetching my brother at medical school when we were accosted by 2 thugs who demanded we hand over our cellphones. My brother A and I were travelling home in peak hour traffic with cars all around us when these 2 guys waltzed over and started screaming for us to hand over our phones to them.

We were stuck in peak hour traffic, it was sweltering hot outside and my window was open. Enough invitation for them to strike. A guy casually strolled towards us and when i tried to close my window he put his hand onto the car door jamming the window from being rolled up. Another guy than came from the back and started screaming in my face to give him my phone. Guy #1 than turned the key in the ignition so that the car switched off. I obliged although at that minute all I wanted to scream back was hell no. They than asked for my brother's phone and as they continued screaming for it, I told them to not do anything he is giving it to them. They than ordered us to drive off and they ran off.

It was a horrible experience. As I drove away I burst into tears and couldn't even drive home. My legs had turned to jelly and I battled to keep control of the car. It might not have been bad where they pulled weapons on us or where we were injured but the whole experience has left me quite unhinged today. It made me feel even more vulnerable than I already am. The whole experience made me really miss T and the fact that he doesn't even know that this has happened to me makes me feel even more crap. I wonder if he will even care.

I won't give up and I wont loose faith. I cannot loose faith now. I cannot. As for my phone getting stolen - its only a phone. It could have been much worse. So to the 2 thieves who thought that they could so callously walk over to my car and steal my phone. I don't care......