Bittersweet Congrats

So! The baby has finally arrived. It seems that the baby was born today, one day after it's expected arrival. It's funny that the grand arrival was being waited for since December and did end up coming on the day that it was supposed to come. Well nobody's phoned to tell me that the princess has finally given birth and it's highly unlikely that they will. I just happen to be rather resourceful and managed to find the information out on my own.

As realization struck, I felt deflated and miserable and luckily my friend Sue rescued me from really beginning to wallow in the pits of despair. I guess realisation has struck that finally this little innocent being has arrived and who knows what's going to happen next. I feel anxious to the point of nausea. I supposedly don't know. I wonder what will they do. Will anyone call to tell me, my husband in particular or will he continue to ignore me as he has been doing since last week. Will the lack of communciation on his part mean that he really doesn't care?

The birth of this baby shouldn't affect my life but unfortunately the reality is that it does. Under normal circumstances, T and I would be the child's uncle and aunt who would spoil and love the innocent baba cos that's what uncles and aunt's do for their nieces. But this is not under normal circumstances and while T is probably ecstatic and overjoyed playing daddy to the little gem without a care in the world where his wife is and what she is doing. This was not how life was supposed to play out. I shouldn't feel this way towards an innocent baby but it's the nature of the beast and the reality of it all. Also T and I were mean't to separate until the bith of the baby. Well the baby is here and T and I are nowhere near a reconciliation. Infact things are just as screwed up as they were when I left. So nothing's changed, it doesn't look like anything is going to be any different and I am left to pick up the pieces while the rest of them fawn over the little bambino. Nobody is going to give 2 hoots regarding the state of T and my marriage. Nobody is going to be bothered to even think about me and the fact that T and I are on the verge of getting a divorce. I don't blame them. A baby brings such joy and affection and love to any home, why should they be saddled with me (who is such a villain) in their life.

I knew this day was coming. I always used to wonder what it would be like when the baby arrived. I guess I never go to experience that, which for me is lucky cos the way things were before I left, there was no place for me. That portrait was only reserved for Princess T (SIL), The Queen (MIL) and T.

So congratulations Princess T.