Tough Week

I have been pretty quiet this past week. I didn't have much inspiration to blog. To be honest I was pretty out of it. T and I had a blazing row on Friday night. We both ended up saying some pretty mean and nasty things. I was upset with him, refused to talk to him and even threatened to call the wedding off. Maybe it was childish of me I don't know.

All is sorted in the world and I just hope that we can manage to keep our emotions in check and not freak out at every turn. I think the stress is also a contributing factor. I know that the stress levels are just going to increase as the wedding draws nearer but I don't want that to happen. I don't want to stress over every little detail. I want to enjoy it and look back one day and think that I had fun planning my wedding.

We have made up since and I guess it made us both realise that there are times when we need a little time out. Shame the poor guy really tried to get me to forgive him. I was a little hard on him at first but all seems to be sorted. At least making up was fun ;)

This has been a really tough week. We being restructured, I had to apply for new positions and to be honest I am a little freaked out by what happens next. What if I don't get the position that I apply for, what if I get placed in some backwater. What if, What if, What if? Its all a little overwhelming right now.

I wasn't in a good space at all and things seem to be coming back to normal but I still feel like a ball of nerves. I just hope that all goes well and I get placed doing something that I will enjoy. The last 3 months in this new position haven't been very easy and I actually hated it. Although I have gotten the hang of it - I didnt even apply for it with the restructure. It's an area that needs the patience of a saint and really doesn't interest me at all.

I am totally exhausted and cant wait to go home.

Crappy

After Dec 25th 2006 this has been one really crappy weekend!

Catching Up and a 5 thing Meme

I've been swamped with work and more work and new happenings that I havent gotten a chance to blog. There is just sooo much happening at the moment. We being restructured, I have to apply for my job and any other positions that I feel I would want to go into, the saga around my phone is never-ending and the wedding preps are driving me a little crazy.

I met my designer on Saturday and she is a really nice person. I loved her from the start and she was so helpful and not in any way weird or kooky. It was an absolute pleasure and I think the gown is going to come out really nice. At least that meeting wasn't disastrous like the venue.....

I spent the better part of this morning at the police station so they could finger print my phone. There was not a single print on there. Its obvious that the phone was wiped clean. Pity. I wonder what will happen next.....

The lovely Angel tagged me. Hmmm it's exciting....

Lets See:

List of 5 things:

5 things in my bag:
- my stolen and now recovered cellphone full of fingerprint dust
- A pill box full of little panados. A panado can make everything all right - Stimorol Wild Cherry gum
- Magnolia Hand Cream
- My Billabong purse that is empty as usual

5 Fav things in my room:
- My duvet - it is thick and heavy and I cannot go to sleep without it
- My file that is filled to capacity with wedding ideas
- Silver heart shaped jewellery box with little diamantes on it
- my white sleigh bed
- the current Danielle Steel book I'm reading

5 things I've always wanted to do:
- Travel and Work overseas
- Take a photography course
- A drastic step towards a career change (hmmm who knows I might just manage to pull it off)
- own a Mini Cooper S (I better pull that one off soon)
- chill out by doing nothing just for one day instead of thinking that the world will pass me by
- Become a doctor - It would have been cool right....

5 Things I am currently into:
- Getting my body toned
- Color schemes and more color schemes
- Woolies Fruit Cocktail juice (hmmm I love it)
- trying to make sense of it all while being shit scared about the new chapter I am going to enter.
- Planning my cuz bridal shower - the theme's Chinese.


OKAY - who to tag.

Sleepy Jane
Princess
Saaleha
Twentysomething and clueless

YOU ARE IT

Living Nightmare

I would like to thank everyone for being so supportive with regards to my phone and the saga that is surrounding it. It is appreciated :)

I feel as though I am living in some kind of movie. The experience is surreal and bizzare and to be quite honest I am beginning to doubt whether all that is happening is either a bad dream or some seriously bad joke. I am flabbergasted beyond words.

I came in to work this morning and miraculously my phone was lying on my desk. Yes not in some dark recess of my cupboard or office floor, it was right infront of me where my laptop goes with a piece of paper over it. How fucking weird is that. I got to work at 7:15am this morning and I find my phone just lying there. The little cow was due back at work today. She has been on leave for the past few days. So is it coincidence that my phone appears the same day she is due back after being told by the investigator that he is giving her some time to think about it and maybe come to some sort of agreement and after she knew that they would be calling her in again today to question her. Is it fucking coincidence or what.

I feel as though I am living through a horror movie. I was brave this morning as I reported what happened. But right now I feel sick to the pit of my tummy. I have to work with her, see her sick ugly face and pretend that nothing happened. There is no evidence of her putting the phone back on my desk - infact there is nothing. There is only one ray of hope and to be honest I am not sure what is going to happen next. Yes I got my phone back, but the schlep of going through the drama of unblocking it and the fact that now she is going to get away with this is making me feel very very sick.

I have been very cold and rude to her today. I dont have to deal with her directly. She is not my staff - so why should I care. We are just colleagues nothing else. I don't want to have to deal with her. I know that she stole my phone - I know that for a fact. There is just not enough evidence at present to be able to do anything about it.....

Fcuk, Fcuk, Fcukitty Fcuk........

Issues

My blogger is a little funny. The create post tab is very limited and it's as though I am typing in HTML. Hmmm - really not sure what is going on.

I spent the better part of yesterday evening trying to figure out what the F happened to the case that I opened on Friday evening. It was highly frustrating and annoying and I was ready to burst into tears. I went back this morning and was helped by a really nice man. I had to start all over from scratch but I now have opened up a case of theft against the suspect and I hope that all will be finalised. I must admit that the SAPS are a force to be reckoned with and one needs the patience of a saint to explain all the details...

I just hope that something comes off my efforts

It seems that things are just happening at lightning speed. We got told yesterday that we are being restructured. There are quite a number of positions that are being made redundant and we all have to apply for our jobs. It is scary and exciting and I am really two minded about it. Not sure what will happen but maybe its time to change jobs and move into a different direction. I really need to make some informed decisions and after tomorrow's consultation I will have to sit down and decide what to do.

It's as though everything is happening all at once. Wedding plans, job issues, stolen phone issues - Issue, issues and more issues.....

Lol

The phone saga continues

Last week was pretty awful for me regarding my phone. I know one might say aaarghh this is South Africa, peoples possessions get stolen daily and sometimes these crimes happen in really cruel and vile ways. However by Friday I was ready to make peace with it and move on. And than another curve ball struck.

Last year while T was away overseas and our only mode of communication was sms I bought an SMS bundle from an overseas site called MobiSms. It was brilliant. I purchased the credits online, paid in Euros and all I needed was a wap enabled phone and voila I could send sms's to anywhere in the world including SA for a mere 28c. When I got my new phone, I downloaded the application and I still have a few credits left so now and than I make use of it. On Friday morning it's like this force that propelled me to log on to this site as you can track sms's sent via the internet. Something told me that maybe these people had sent texts via this programme. And boy was I surprised. There was one sms that was sent on Tuesday night to a certain number. I dialled it from the phone that i am using currently and hid my number. I was so nervous, as I was dialling I was totally edgy as to what I was going to say. But I wanted to know who this number belonged to. I pretended to call from an employment agency and proceeded to headhunt this lady. I didn't have a name nothing - so I just said that I am calling from an agency in Jhb, we are trying to build up a database of people in the industry, are you in the job market. She very quickly answered yes and I asked her for her name. But by than I already knew who the person on the other end was. I was going hot and cold. When she gave me her name I mustered all my strength to end the call in a professional manner and trying to change my voice for fear of her recognising my voice. Turns out the number that the sms was sent to belongs to a lady that works in my department. She is new and started with the company about a month ago. The content of the message: EIO

I was shell-shocked and totally dumbstruck. Luckily for me she was away in meetings for the day and wasnt just outside my office cos that is where she sits. I immediately printed out the delivery report and went to security. They immediately took me up to the investigations department and I told the guy my story. They proceeded to arrange an interrogation session with me present and I was told to call him as soon as she came back from her meetings. The interrogation happened at at about 15:30 on Friday afternoon. She denied everything, tried to change the subject, became bitchy and cocky and eventually started crying. She wanted to see the delivery report and wanted to know what the message was. When the investigator showed her the report she immediately said oh the message says HELLO - ELO as in short for Hello. I was totally shocked. She didnt give anything away. He made her pretty scared and told her that this is going to become a police matter and will probably end up going to court etc. He than said that I was going to lay a charge of theft. That is when she started crying.

I can't believe what happend. This lady is an Indian girl, who has a nice car, a really state of the art phone and looks like she comes from a good home. She is new to Jhb and I felt so sorry for her. I would take her with me to lunch everyday and proceeded to help her find her feet. I can't believe that someone would do something like that. It is insane, what motive would she have. I wonder if she will even come back to work. I don't really know what is going to come out of the investigation that is being conducted at work. As for the case that I opened - the police officer was very bored by my story on Friday. There were calls that were made from my phone but the service provider needed a case to be opened before they could give me the details. If nothing comes of this - it will mean that this girl will remain employed with the company and get away with what she has done. I know maybe its wrong of me to just accuse her - but she acted very guilty on Friday and it can't be coincidence that an sms was sent to her number only on Tuesday night. She could have come in on Wednesday morning and said something about the sms.

I still can't get over the fact that this someone whom I work with, who joined us for lunch every single day. Someone who I trusted and took under me as she is knew and not from Jhb and shame she seems so lonely. Is my judgement really so screwed up and what happens to me now. Do I doubt every single person who I meet. This is a working environement for crying out loud. I know one thing though that I will not talk to her. Yes I have to work with the girl but that is why there is something called email. I don't want to have anything to do with her. Whether she gets caught or not - she will always be the thief who took my phone.

Stolen Phone

So my phone was actually stolen and not misplaced as I initially thought. I came in to work early yesterday just to have a look around again. I thought that while the offices are still quite without the hum of the telephones and people talking I would be able to hear my phone ringing. So I backtracked my steps again and as I walked I dialled my phone from another phone that T has so sweetly given me to use. I dialed and dialed and nothing. It just rang and rang and went to voicemail. It was the same as the day before. A phone that rings with no clue where it can be.

I sent mails out to people upstairs where I went, I put a classified advert out on our intranet and nothing. Nobody had picked up a phone. I than called the service provider and asked them if calls were made from my phone and lo and behold there were 2 calls made on Tuesday night from my phone. They couldn't give me the numbers that were called because I have to go to the police station and open up a case so that they can track it. I refused to believe it and called the call centre an hour later just to confirm that my phone was actually used. They confirmed it and they confirmed that the phone was being used to retrive voicemail messages as well. Can you imagine the nerve and the odesity of this thief. I called countless times yesterday, dialled into my mailbox only to find that all the messages that people were leaving on there to help me find my phone were all retrieved. I than left several voice messages on there telling them exactly what I thought of them. I also sent them text sms telling them that they will be sorry for taking something that does not belong to them. I was pretty angry and everytime I called they kept on cutting the calls. They finally decided to switch the phone off last night.

Can one just imagine the the audacity and nerve of this person who stole my phone. I was away from my office for about 15 min max and they walked into my office which is an enclosed cubicle and stole my phone. And than they decided to keep the phone on which made me go out of my mind thinking that I am irresponsible and careless and I must have dropped it on my way out. I was feeling pretty rotten last night. My 2 week old cellphone which was pretty state of the art is sitting in someone else's hands and they are enjoying my birthday present. It isn't fair.

What makes it worse is that we come to work to do a job. The workplace is a place where we work and do a purpose. One doesn't expect their personal belongings to be tampered with, stolen etc. A lady's purse was stolen on the same day my phone was stolen. We don't feel safe in our homes, in our cars or anywhere on the street and now we can't feel safe anymore at our place of work. I have escalated it to security and they haven't done anything. They had a look at the video footage - but because there are no cameras in my office or anywhere close to it - there is nothing that they can do. How convenient.

I know it's just a phone and it could have been much worse than that. But it still makes me upset to think that this person probably knows me, they knew that I was frantically looking for my phone and that's why they left it ringing all the time making me think I am an irresponsible adult who is careless. I think that for me is the hardest to bear. I am a conscientious person, I pride myself in having things in order and under control and I hardly ever lose anything. I felt miserable on Tuesday night as I honestly thought I had lost a cellphone. But no - this bastard had to toy with me and make me go out of my mind wondering where I could have left my phone.

I feel violated cos it means that someone came into my office and took my phone. They could have taken my bag cos the cupboard doesn't lock, they went through my phone which had personal messages and numbers and everything else on there. I just feel so violated. I have become very weary and don't trust anyone that comes into my office.

Alas I am just another victim of CRIME.

Losers

I have a serious case of losers. I lost my brand new cellphone yesterday. I don't know what happened to it and coming back to work today is just making me more miserable. I had it with me in my office and than I left to go upstairs to another department and when I came back I couldn't find my phone. I have looked everywhere and it is possible that it might have been stolen from my office while I was away.

But the funny thing is that it is still ringing. I have called it like a gazillion times and left messages and sent text messages and it just rings. I don't know where it is and what could have happened to it. I don't recall taking it with me and even if I did I would have put it in my jacket pocket. If it had fallen out I would have heard it as it isnt a teeny tiny phone. I don't know. I think what makes it worse is that it is still ringing. If it was switched off - I would have thought ok its gone. I am just another victime of crime, but it's still ringing and that is more frustrating. Cos it probably means that I am careless and have lost a cellphone that is not even a month old.

I have retraced my steps, went back to every person that I saw and chatted to yesterday and there is nothing. I have retraced my steps while calling the phone non-stop and nothing. It's not on a very loud ringing volume which makes it kind of worse.

I am going out of my mind. I feel like I must be this careless, irresponsible person who lost a brand new R4500.00 cellphone. If it were stolen, surely they would have switched it off by now - but the mere fact that it is still ringing is making me think that I must have misplaced it somewhere, somehow. And to be honest it's making me feel like absolute crap!!!!

Life

My little niece was diagnosed with Diabetes yesterday. She is only 9 years old and she will probably be on insulin for the rest of her life. She is sooo tiny and small and when I saw her last night all I wanted to do was hold her close and all she was worried about, was completing her homework cos she couldn't go to school yesterday. She is such an adorable and sweet little girl.

They stopped over at our house on Sunday on their way back from holiday and house No 2 was abuzz which is usual whenever "The Brats" are around. One can't help but love them despite their brattish behaviour. Their mum is a Doctor and she mentioned something about testing N's sugar cos she is forever thirsty. She went home that night tested it and tested it again the next morning and it was sky high. It was even higher when they went to the specialist. I kept thinking yesterday that their mum is a doctor so she obviously knew what to look for. Normally mums would just assume that their child is too energetic and that is why they drinking such a lot and as a result going to toilet so often. Their mum was pretty devastated yesterday, I felt so sorry for her. She is like a sister to me.

We saw my other cuz yesterday as well. I always love seeing her - she is like this bright, shining light who is always smiling and has a heart of gold. Im glad I got to see her and little boy who is the most adorable little boy ever. I'm glad that things turned out ok for her - after so many times of trying to have a baby they adopted this adorable little baby who is spoilt rotten and really the apple of his mama's eye.

I guess such is life - even though N will have to live with diabetes for the rest of her life - she is still a lovely little girl who has her whole future ahead of her. Yes it might be marred at times by insulin and shots but I still believe that it shouldn't hamper her in anyway.