Thursday, November 13, 2008

A decade of thoughts

Everyone seems to be doing this 10 year looking back meme and it got me thinking of the last 10 years in my life.... Besides going back to the place where I grew up on Tuesday kind of made me a little nostalgic.

So here goes......


Hmmmm I was in Standard 9 - young, naive and very stupid. It was a time of serious crushes, that heady feeling of having your first boyfriend and suddenly being all grown up. I had my first cellphone this year. The new older boyfriend decided to give it to me to use. What fun. First of all I had to hide it from my parents. Umm hello it was 1998 - only your parents had a cellphone which was usually some huge monstrosity with a funny looking aerial thingy sticking out. The phone provided hours of fun for the crew and I.... Suddenly we were connected to a world of boys, late night phone calls and excitement.

The phone that provided many a hour of fun, carefree conversation
The summer of 98 was the best ever. We were young and carefree and the future lay before us full of promise. We were 4 best friends, spent all our waking minutes together. Most of the time we were bored out of our skulls but because we were together nothing else mattered.

I was in Matric. A very difficult year. I met someone towards late 1998 and he became somewhat of a Demi-God in my eyes. I was smitten. He broke my heart a few months later. I was 17 and honestly thought I was going to die of a broken heart. I passed Matric with good results and was on my way to University. Wow.

I started university. It felt so weird to be still on holiday when the rest of the people in my world were going back to school in January. I must admit that the first few months of varsity was awful. It took a while for me to adjust but eventually I got there. The man from last year who is now known as the fungus was still around. He couldn't make up his mind if he wanted to be with me or not. The year was filled with delicious highs and crushing lows. Yes there were other guys but this demi God refused to leave me alone.

I moved away from the place where I had grown up in. The last 18 years were spent here and it was all that I had ever known. How was I going to leave my best friend, the fungus who was still very much in my life although his antics were starting to become rather tiresome. It was hard. Things between my parents were awful and eventually my dad left us. I failed some subjects at varsity and the year was a topsy turvy mess.

I don't seem to remember much of this year. I met T and we started dating and although it was weird at first he became a constant in my life. He was always there during the tough times. I graduated from varsity - a proud achievement after failing some subjects the year before, I really had to put in extra effort to complete my degree.

My honours year. Ooooh how I hated it. We had classes at night. The whole day I would lounge around at home and every evening at 5pm I went to varsity until 9pm. It was hard and crappy and fun all at the same time. T and I were still together and as I look back I smile when I think of the fond memories that we both share.

I became an intern. I had to complete 720 hours of unpaid work. Boring! I learn't a great deal but the end of 720 hours couldn't come soon enough. T was still very much a part of my life and even though we had our fair share of dramas we stuck together.

started my first real job. Overwhelming at its best. I was in the big, bad corporate world. Who ever thought I would be doing this?

Climbing the corporate ladder, really proving to myself and others that I could do it. We bought a really gorgeous home. This was a huge milestone in our lives. My dad deserted us in 2001 and times were quite tough. Suddenly things were looking up. Our new home became a real joy in our life and we spent all our time and energy fixing and renovating it. This home has become our pride and joy. It was also a year of serious loss. T decided towards the end of 2006 to end our relationship of almost 5 years. I was devastated and really didn't know how I was going to get through without him.

My backyard!

This to date has been the hardest year ever. Even harder when the fungus couldn't decided if he wanted me or not. I was heartbroken and didn't know where one day ended and the next started. T was still very much a part of my life but we were not together. Seeing him often didn't help much and I couldn't see past the darkness. I couldn't imagine where my life was going. After months and months of trying to get to grips with the fact that our relationship had ended - I realised that I was going to be Ok. I had turned that corner. Yes I still missed him, I still felt like calling him whenever something important happend - but it didn't hurt as much.

Towards the end of 2007 we got back together. After a weary and shaky start we were ok again and he proposed before he left to go overseas. I was shocked and excited and kept it a secret until he came back. The whole experience was a huge learning for me. I also realised that I could live without him. I just didn't want to.

I am still trying to get through 2008. It's been exciting and trying at the same time. As I plan for my wedding which is almost a month away I wonder what the next 10 years will hold. Will it be the rollercoaster that the last 10 were or will be plain smooth sailing. I guess rollercoasters are fun and at least when you look back you realise that the ride was fun even though there were a few bumpy bumps......
But that's what Life's about right!

1 comment:

angel said...

very cool post! i'm working on one too, slowly...