Tuesday, December 14, 2010


2 years ago today, I walked down the aisle in a billowing white fairy gown, entwined with organza and satin and little swarovski crystals to finish off the detail. The day was magical and I walked down the aisle with the promise of forever etched in my mind.

The sea of pink, white and silver glittered in the lovely December sunlight. There was a sense of magic in the air. My fairtytale had come true and I truly was the princess.

However where fairytales have happy endings, prince Charming on a handsome white horse and happily ever afters my Charming turned out to be quite the monster in disguise and alas my fairytale turned out to be quite a horror movie.

I feel a little sad at times. My wedding was near perfect. One only gets one shot at things like this and I blew that one chance. But I realise now that a perfect, beautiful wedding is not enough for the happily ever after. And T and my happily after is a mere distant memory and one that I would rather leave behind.

And so in saying this -

I am OK. It truly is a miracle, because I never imagined it possible - but I am OK.

Today dawned bright and clear and just as promising as every other day. As the sun will set, all I can say is a prayer of thanks that I have survived and have been saved from a life worse than a prison sentence. I wouldn't want to celebrate this day with the man I married, cos I don't want to be married to him anymore.

I shock myself at times, when I realise this.

But it's the truth..........


Azra S. said...

Honestly, no one is more happier for you than I am at this moment because I know how difficult it is to claw your way through a terrible situation and to have to survive it... all I can say is Alhamdulilah!

I knew this day would come, I just didn't know when. And the funny part is that when you're in the thick of it, you can't ever imagine anything different, you can't imagine things changing and when people tell you that you'll be ok, you think to yourself that they can't possibly know what you're going through.

I've been there done that and sadly, that is how we all have to learn our lessons... some lessons are so much tougher than others but that's why we're suppose to cling to our faith - even on the darkest days.

Now that you're leaving this storm behind you, I pray that you find what you need and that it will be good for you ;)

cassey said...

I'm sure that you will have an even better perfect day, with a person who is just what you need. Yay, for being strong :)

Princess said...

Hey there, I echo Azra's sentiments...You are the most important person in your world...

Your day will come when the sun will shine. Inshallah I make Dua'a all will be okay!


Blue Sunflower said...

Azra - you dont know how much these words mean to me. Thank you so much for everything.

YOur words ring so true about clawing your way out of a terrible situation. It totally sums up what I've endured during this past year.

Thanks again....

Blue Sunflower said...

Cassey - thank you.....