Losers.....

I haven't been blogging much and although the urge hits me often, I don't have much time. I keep saying that I don't have the time, but I blog mostly at work and things have been hectic. It appears that things have taken a turn for the better here at work. Touch wood. I keep thinking that my luck is going to run out and things are going to start going pear-shaped again. The last few months have been pretty rough but I think I have weathered the stormy waters.

The main person who used to make my life a living nightmare, the MD for one of the departments that I look after, has actually come around. He now says thank you when I take him stuff and doesn't treat me like an idiot. I keep thinking that today something will happen but I am confident that things have gotten much better. My boss even seems a bit different. Maybe the complaints have stopped so she doesn't have need to be irritated. I received a few calls last week from employment agencies and I did send them my cv but to be quite honest I don't think I really want to leave right now.

I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday. I am really grappling with the fact that the band's family haven't mentioned a word to me regarding his sister's pregnancy. I know that it is none of my business and that it does not concern me. However I am a member of their family, I do see them everyday much to my irritation and when I see them they are pretty normal and they talk about everything and everyone under the sun but this. I do feel like an outsider and yesterday I just lost it. The band and I had a huge argument and everything that I have been bottling up since all this started came out. I guess thats why they say that one shouldn't bottle things up. I didn't want to make a big deal about it and kept thinking to myself this is not about YOU, but to be quite honest it is a big deal and it does bother me.

Ever since the sister announced that she is pregnant, they fawn around her like she is some fragile doll. Yes she is with child but don't they care who the father is, is she going to bring this little being up alone, do they not care what their daughter gets up to. Or maybe then they do all know and I am the one in the dark. It's such a twisted story that totally gets me in a tizz and seriously upsets me every single day. I am really battling to make peace with it. I keep repeating this mantra that it is none of my business and does not concern me.

I voiced my feelings to the band yesterday and even though it came out through an argument, I am glad that it has come to light. I am glad that he knows how I feel and I hope that this gives him some food for thought.

In other news, I received some extra cash last month as part of a performance bonus, it wasn't a lot due to the company not meeting all targets etc, but it was something and I purchased a set AMC pots. Hmmmm who ever thought that I would be excited at purchasing pots. They are absolutely lovely and have a lifetime guarantee. My mum has a set and I am so used to them that I had to get my own. Even though I don't cook everyday thanks to mother - I love cooking and I think that the pots are truly an investment.

So here's to happy cooking and less feeling like a loser regarding other people's scandals..... :)