Catch Up

I am exhausted. I can't believe that tomorrow is already Friday. It's as though the weeks whizz by and I know that before long it's going to be my wedding day. There are days when I can't wait to be with T, to live with him and spend all my time with him. Yet there are days when I get a little scared and antsy about the future. T has such wierd parents and they just seem so strange. I am not marrying them right but it's not like they are going to go away or we are going to live in a different city to them. I also am going to miss my family like crazy. My eyes well up sometimes when I think about it. We share such a strong bond and a relationship that only the 4 of us can understand. I know that I will miss that the most.

I'm not really blogging about anything in particular. I find myself pressed for time these days. There is just so much happening in my world that I hardly have time to blog anymore. I miss it though. I have to admit that I am loving what I am doing. I love my new boss. She is so cool and sassy and fun and at our one on one today she told me that she is just loving having me in her team. It made me feel really great. I love being in her team too. She is really supportive and is putting me up for challenges that is really stretching me. Sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed but I am really enjoying it. If someone had to ask me about this role last year I would have scoffed at it and said I would hate it. But this is what you get for trying. If I didn't heed her advice and applied I wouldn't have known what it would be like. Im loving it.

It's my cousin's wedding on Saturday. She is such a bridezilla and I am quite interested to see her antics on Saturday. The last few months have been an endless array of fussings from her side that I am very curious about her. I hope it all goes well for her and all their plans and preps come out beautifully. Im not really looking forward to the weekend though. We leaving early on Saturday morning for the North West province (of all places), the wedding is on Saturday night and than on Sunday we come back to Jhb for another function that her husband and them are giving. So yeah there goes my entire weekend. At least we booked into a hotel for Saturday night and not just crashing at my aunts place. When my cousin S got engaged we stayed the night and the next morning ended up having a very cold shower and no fruit juice for breakfast. I'm complaining I know.

At least I get to leave early tomorrow. I am going to have something weird done with my hair - hope it works and comes out looking pretty....

Im just so glad that the week is almost over. As T likes to say its Quarter to Friday....

Naughty ;)

Is it really very wrong to perv at a

Hot Yummy Mcsteamy piece of Guy Candy

when you engaged....

Hmmmmm

??????

Moods

As off next week Thursday I will be a few thousand rands richer. Yippee....
We received our payslips today and finally it confirmed the share payout amount that we are due to receive at the end of this month. I was wondering about the value of our share payout cos with the scary economic times I thought that maybe it wouldn't be as great as every other time. I want to put that money towards my wedding. Another great weekend lifter is that I will be getting my new salary as well. A great fat paycheck at the end of this month. Hmmm wouldn't I like to take that amount home every month. Dreams Girlfriend Dreams.

I was pretty pissed off with my cousin again today. After the whole debacle 2 weeks ago we just ignored her and although what she did and said was pretty hurtful we are so used to people turning nasty when you don't expect it so we just did what we always do. Pick yourself up and continue walking. So she sms'd my mum this morning with a very sorry Suzie attitude. She than has the nerve to say that she is not sure what me and my brother M told my mum cos my mum didn't even phone her after she sent an sms to apologise. She is still my mum's daughter and loves her blah blah blah.

What a load of Blegh. I was seething when my mum told me. Conveniently now she decides to put the blame on M and I. I really had a good mind to call her and tell her exactly what I thought of her. I have one thing to say to her. What gives her the right to treat people like shit and than expect them to just forget about it. She said some really mean and nasty things to me and now she blames me for telling my mum crap about her.

I was so irritated. She did the exact same thing just before my engagment party. She made it all about herself and was pretty rude and nasty. She needs to apologise to me for all the crap that she told me and even than I wont allow her to have a say about anything. I can't understand the nerve of some people. She thinks she can tell anyone whatever she feels like and than when she feels like being nice again than everyone must just forget about it. I'm sorry my friend - it doesn't work like that. She does that to everyone in our family. She fights with my uncles and aunts and can be rude and nasty to anyone at the drop of a hat. So what makes her so special to treat people the way she wants to treat them.

I was so livid and I told my mum that you can sit and play her silly games but I for one am not interested. She crossed a line and I don't think I want to allow her back into my life to hurt me and be nasty all over again. My mum entertains all their shit and that is why half the time they all take advantage of her. I am so sick of it.

On a lighter note - I am so glad its the weekend. My mum and I are going shopping for clothes for my cousin S wedding. I hope we find stuff cos all the nice stuff is more for summer. That is why I chose to have my wedding in summer.

Besides I love Summer....

My new best friend - Stuart Little

I woke up at 5am this morning to the sound of something scratching away at the wooden flooring in my room. It seems I have a little visitor that is scaring the living daylights out of me. We have a little mouse in our house that is intent on scaring me. I keep seeing it everywhere and everytime I yell and scream for someone and they come running ready for battle it disappears.

Last week Wednesday just before I got into bed I heard it on the side of my cupboard and screamed for my brother M to come and catch it. It was hysterical watching him trying in vain to catch the little rodent. After that I have been seeing it all over but never in time to let it get caught. Not by me oh no. The first thing I do when I see it is jump up onto something away from the floor and scream blue murder. So this morning Stuart Little (that's my new name for it, although our Stuart isn't half as cute as the real one) decided to pay me a visit again. In my sleepy terrified state I just leapt off my bed and crept into my mum's room and into her bed. She had such a shock and thought it was time to get up.

I made M look for it this morning but it wasnt there anymore. It appears that this wretched little thing is intent on scaring me to death. The situation in our home right now ever since Stuart Little decided that he wants to be the 5th addition to our family is similar to that of the movie Mousehunt. It's hilarious how everytime Stuart decides to pop his little head my brothers come running only to see it disappearing somewhere where we can't find him. Oh and Stuart is one persistent little rodent. He really wants to be a part of House No 2 and cleverly dodges the traps we keep setting for him.

Frustrating and Hilarious all at the same time.....

Pretty as a Picture

Thoughts

I don't think I have ever been this busy at work. I have been bombarded with meetings, strat sessions, workshops that seem to go on forever. I can't believe that it's Thursday already cos don't ask me where the week went. There is a ton of stuff to do but guess what - I am having fun. I am really enjoying everything and yes it can be dragging and draining at times cos I sometimes hardly have time to grab a sandwhich but its fun.


Did I mention that I absolutely love my boss. I keep thinking that oops if I say that she might turn out to be a meany - by I really like her and she is uber cool and loads of fun while doing really serious work. It's really great working for someone who believes in you. Sooo different to my previous bosses who would frustrate me to no end with their clueless I don't know what to do next kind of manner.


T and I were on a warpath of note this week. I don't know what was wrong with me. I am blaming it on pms but everything the poor guy said or did just pissed me off to know end. He is also rather stressed out and with his family life nothing is ever simple or easy. I feel him so sorry for him. I guess I was being a real meany but ive said sorry and all is OK....


As for my cousin - that is a different story. I don't know if I will ever be able to allow her to get close to me again. To be honest I was upset last week. She said some really horrible things to me and even though I in a very nice way put her straight I still got upset with what she said. I don't live with my dad. We have a pretty non-existent relationship and we are more like very strange acquaintances than father and daughter. I am so ok with it. Yes granted there are times when I wonder what it would be like to have my dad in my life permanently. But my cousin didn't have to so candidly tell me that if you had a dad things would have been very different for you with the wedding. Why cos dad's don't usually like to spend and maybe he wouldn't have allowed you to spend on stuff that you really wanted. That was mean and nasty. You don't tell people stuff like that - its just wrong. And besides why should she worry about my financial affairs.

So yes she did tell me things that are of no concern to her, but she did and I don't know if I can look past that. I am not usually like that. I am the most forgiving person I know and am not one to bear grudges but in this case she drew a line and I just don't know if I will be able to look past it. She has no right to comment in my life and besides she got upset first. A really silly reason to get upset because she doesn't have any right to tell us what to do and what not to do. I wasn't going to let it get to me but I was upset about it. The sick conversation that we had last week kept on playing in my mind. However I have decided to just ignore it and not let her or anyone for that matter get to me.

Im sooo glad it's the weekend. Oh and by the way I really need to get back to the gym.....

Pissed Off

Hmmmm.

I am at a lost for words. I have a cousin who I have always looked up to and really adored since I was a little girl. She is a number of years older than me and since I don't have any sisters of my own and neither does she I have always seen her as my sister. We have grown pretty close over the years. I absolutely adore her kids and even though they can be pretty brattish at times - I nontheless love them to bits.

We spent yesterday browsing around looking at ideas for invites, flowers, colour schemes. It took the better part of the day and we were pretty exhausted by the end of the day. I managed to chose a colour scheme, make some headway with invitations and get a rough idea of my wedding day itself. And suddenly a really nice day went totally pear-shaped and awry. She and my mum began squabbling about something silly like organza bags. I got irritated with the two of them and commented that nothing needs to be decided right now. We still have a while to go before we start focusing on nitty gritty issues like freaking organza bags. Well she refused to back off and my mum got pretty irritated and eventually she stormed off and left. Not before making a huge scene and upsetted everyone with my family and hers all smack bang in the middle of it.

I am highly irritated with her. I always value her opinion and look up to her for ideas and direction but I also know something and so does my mum. Also this is my wedding and now suddenly its what they want - so what about what I want. She called me this morning to justify her actions and I very quickly picked up on the fact that she is jealous. For what I have no clue. She got married over a decade ago and obviously what was in than is so not in now. She went on to add that she wasn't allowed to have really pretty and nice things because of budget constraints etc etc etc. Umm Hello how in the world is that my problem.

I have chosen the lady to do my invites - yes its a little bit pricey but it includes everything. There is nothing that you have to do that is extra and they are really stunning. She is not happy with that. She wanted me to chose really hideous flowers and I just ignored her suggestions. I really like the Gerbera Daisy. It's what I like and not once did my mother comment about the price etc. She turned around and said that it's an expensive flower and the arrangements are going to be pretty expensive. I don't know who gave her the right to comment about financial affairs regarding the wedding when my mum and I who is going to footing the bill for this wedding has not once commented on money being an issue. I very nicely told her that money is not something that should concern you.

But this is how she is. She always wants to get her way. In every occasion she always wants to take credit for the glamour work and will ensure that she worms her way in giving the person no time to say no. She even had the nerve and the audacity to tell us who to cut off our guest list and who to invite. I was still very much trying to stay neutral last night but after this morning I am very pissed off with her. I don't like talking about money. Yes I will discuss financial situations with my mum and my brother cos that is my family cos that directly affects our lifestyle but I don't think how much my wedding is going to cost is any of her business. Yes weddings cost money but that issue is totally unrelated to the issue at hand. She is making an issue about the invite that I chose, the number of guests that we inviting, the colors schemes everything. Why I have no idea. I told her in a very firm but nice way today that this is my wedding. Its what I want. My mother respects that all the way and will guide me at every turn. Not once did my mum say I cant have something because of cost etc. I am also trying to be reasonable and not make unrealistic demands. However that is for us to decide. Nobody gives her the right to butt in and tell us what to do and where to get on or off. Its none of her business what everything costs. Yes I value her opinion but its what I want at the end of the day....